Twilight Wins Best Movie And Other Sh*t We Don't Care About

Hey! Guess what?! The Twilight Saga: Eclipse won best movie at the MTV Movie Awards! In fact, it won most of the awards, beating out real films like The Social Network, Inception and Black Swan. This isn't a surprise as the majority of the people who watch the MTV Movie Awards have a median age of 12 and still believe that Justin Bieber is a real musician. You know what this means? Unless you are between the ages of 12 and 16, or unless you have no dignity, you should NOT be watching the MTV Movie Awards and you should also NOT be caring about them. Got it? Great, moving on!

The second installment of Tom Six's ass to mouth masterpiece,The Human Centipede, has already been banned in England by the BBFC. Apparently it's unacceptable for public consumption. News to me! I had no idea that the public actually didn't want to see people sewn to other people's assholes and eating poop. But the real question is, who gives a shit if it's banned? This only means that more people will want to see it and that only means that someday, somehow---WE WILL....and when we do, we'll cry and never want to take a poop ever again.

I keep getting sent news alerts that Rob Lowe is directing a comedy- horror film called Butterfinger the 13th. If you're thinking the worst regarding that title you are correct. This movie is pretty much just a giant add for Butterfinger, which is a shame because I really fucking love Butterfingers. For some reason yet still unknown, Butterfinger has done away with Bart Simpson, and decided to turn its next big marketing project into some weird comedy-horror hybrid. Plus, Rob Lowe is directing it. I mean, that's weird right?

Here's what a Butterfinger spokesperson says about the project,

"Butterfinger is always looking to deliver new and exciting entertainment experiences for fans, mixed in with a heavy dose of clever fun. ith Rob Lowe behind the camera for this humorously horrific masterpiece, 'Butterfinger the 13th' is sure to be a hit, and we can't wait for Butterfinger fans everywhere to be scared funny."

I don't even know what that means. I don't remember Butterfinger presenting me with new and exciting experiences, do you? Also, is this a real thing or just a thing that will be shown before movies making me want to buy more Butterfingers? If so, why is it getting so much buzz? Anyways, I don't give a shit about this and I thought that you'd like to know. You can thank me later.