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'Snow White and the Huntsman' Trailer: Remember When 'Snow White' Was Pretty?

So do I. Now Kristen Stewart is playing her in that awful new version with Charlize Theron (not the awful one with Julia Roberts) and there's a brand new trailer and it looks just terrible.

I'm already so sick of seeing the promotional stills with Stewart's stringy hair and rat face in some boy's armor pretending to be some kind of feminist version of Snow White that I almost couldn't bring myself to watch this trailer. However, I was pleasantly surprised that the movie seems to be more about Charlize Theron's evil queen than Snow White herself. I mean, Stewart doesn't even have any lines in this trailer. I hope she doesn't have any lines in the movie.

There's a good bit of computer effects, and lots of weird imagery, and it looks about as shallow as a rushed, cash-in-on-fairy-tales-quick! movie can be. The horse says, "dissertation denied." I can't wait for the trailer for Mirror, Mirror to come out so I can shred these to pieces side-by-side.


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Superheidi's picture
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By the way, what the fuck is up with Theron's horrible semi-british-fantasy accent? Why can't she just use her South African accent?

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Thomas Duke's picture
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"some kind of feminist version of Snow White"

She's the Joan of Arc that our generation deserves. Wink

I hope Charlize doesn't narrate the movie with that accent. Also, she doesn't look anything like a witch. She should look more like Aileen Wournos.

I will probably watch this. Laugh at me if you must.

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Cash Bailey's picture
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Whoever decided to cast Mopey McHeartburn as Snow White should never be allowed to make any decisions on a film ever again.

Although whoever cut the trailer wisely avoided any moments where Stewart has to speak.

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Superheidi wrote:

By the way, what the fuck is up with Theron's horrible semi-british-fantasy accent? Why can't she just use her South African accent?

Can you tell the difference? I've never met an American that could.

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Gore Gore Girl wrote:
Superheidi wrote:

By the way, what the fuck is up with Theron's horrible semi-british-fantasy accent? Why can't she just use her South African accent?

Can you tell the difference? I've never met an American that could.

I can. South African is much sharper and angular than a "standard" British accent. But I get it.

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matango's picture
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Theron wrote:
Gore Gore Girl wrote:
Superheidi wrote:

By the way, what the fuck is up with Theron's horrible semi-british-fantasy accent? Why can't she just use her South African accent?

Can you tell the difference? I've never met an American that could.

I can. South African is much sharper and angular than a "standard" British accent. But I get it.

I can always distinguish Afrikaner-accented English from British English accent. Though every time I hear Charlize Theron speak, she sounds American.

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marcdamien's picture
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Damn! That was way more bilious than the usual reviews. Why do we hate Kristen Stewart so much? Just cuz of Twilight?
I admit i've never watched those movies or read those books and I hope to be able to continue to say that until my death, but can they/she really be THAT despicable?
I think she looks pretty good in that suit-of-armor still, it reminds me a LOT of somebody, but i'm not sure who... maybe a younger pre-lip-implant Monica Keena?
no, that's not quite it... i don't know who she looks like there, but really she doesn't look bad.
And when did Charlize Theron fall so hard from grace?
I guess I can't keep up.

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marcdamien wrote:

I think she looks pretty good in that suit-of-armor still, it reminds me a LOT of somebody, but i'm not sure who... maybe a younger pre-lip-implant Monica Keena?

While I would not call Stewart ugly...the idea that she is the fairest of them all in a world with Charlize Theron is laughable nonsense.

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Private J.V. Vasquez's picture
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You know it would of been a good idea to cast some unknown actress like they originally intended it would of brought maybe some new energy to this movie. It kind of looks interesting, although I hope they don't go too crazy with the CGI effects. You know I don't know why they didn't cast Evan Rachel Wood, she looks more like Snow White in my opinion than Kristen Stewart plus the acting would of been better.

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Cash Bailey's picture
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There's only one person fit to play Snow White and that is COMMUNITY's Alison Brie.

Not since the heyday of Madeline Kahn has so much funny and so much hotness been in one package.

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Cash Bailey wrote:

There's only one person fit to play Snow White and that is COMMUNITY's Alison Brie.

Not since the heyday of Madeline Kahn has so much funny and so much hotness been in one package.

Oooh, good idea! Community is one of the cleverest shows on these days.

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Thomas Duke's picture
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Y'all just be hatin' on K-Stew cuz y'all never be as apathetic as her no matta how hard y'all try. Haterz.

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Thomas Duke wrote:

Y'all just be hatin' on K-Stew cuz y'all never be as apathetic as her no matta how hard y'all try. Haterz.

LOLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SRSLY H8ERZ R TEH GAY!!!!!!!

BELLA AN EDWORD 4EVZ!!!

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Thomas Duke's picture
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Cash Bailey wrote:
Thomas Duke wrote:

Y'all just be hatin' on K-Stew cuz y'all never be as apathetic as her no matta how hard y'all try. Haterz.

LOLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SRSLY H8ERZ R TEH GAY!!!!!!!

BELLA AN EDWORD 4EVZ!!!

Y'allz be gay when u be texting in all caps, turn dat shit offs and talk normal wit yo wordz.

K-Stew be rockin dat Edward cuz she mo awkward than y'allz mama if she be buyin dildoz at the porno palace. K-Stew knock outz y'all haterz wit awkward-fu, wu-tang style.

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Cash just suggests Alison Brie because he likes Annie's boobs.

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Cash Bailey's picture
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Thomwade wrote:

Cash just suggests Alison Brie because he likes Annie's boobs.

I do. That monkey cracks me up. Wink

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Community is such a great show.

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Private J.V. Vasquez wrote:

You know it would of been a good idea to cast some unknown actress like they originally intended it would of brought maybe some new energy to this movie. It kind of looks interesting, although I hope they don't go too crazy with the CGI effects. You know I don't know why they didn't cast Evan Rachel Wood, she looks more like Snow White in my opinion than Kristen Stewart plus the acting would of been better.

You meant "would have" or "would've." There is no such thing as "would of." Please write this down on a sticky note and stick it to your computer monitor. Also, please tell everyone you know. Thanks!

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Corrector wrote:
Private J.V. Vasquez wrote:

You know it would of been a good idea to cast some unknown actress like they originally intended it would of brought maybe some new energy to this movie. It kind of looks interesting, although I hope they don't go too crazy with the CGI effects. You know I don't know why they didn't cast Evan Rachel Wood, she looks more like Snow White in my opinion than Kristen Stewart plus the acting would of been better.

You meant "would have" or "would've." There is no such thing as "would of." Please write this down on a sticky note and stick it to your computer monitor. Also, please tell everyone you know. Thanks!

Thanks for correcting Corrector! If Vasquez's post was a formal essay, your comments would of been most useful! Vasquez probably knows of many people, and to have given them all a grammar lesson would of taken up a lot of time! Also, if someone would of covered up their screen with post-it notes, it would of made it hard to read what is happening on the internet! Thanks!!!!

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This looks like a grrl power take on the tale, similar to what Tim Burton did to poor Alice in Wonderland. Yawn.

Then again, was that Charlize Theron in a milk bath? If so, I think this could be a valid, visually stunning take on an old favorite — a bold reimagining for a new generation...and my pants!

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Superheidi's picture
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I would of loved to see a girl power version of Sleeping Beauty.

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Private J.V. Vasquez's picture
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Corrector wrote:
Private J.V. Vasquez wrote:

You know it would of been a good idea to cast some unknown actress like they originally intended it would of brought maybe some new energy to this movie. It kind of looks interesting, although I hope they don't go too crazy with the CGI effects. You know I don't know why they didn't cast Evan Rachel Wood, she looks more like Snow White in my opinion than Kristen Stewart plus the acting would of been better.

You meant "would have" or "would've." There is no such thing as "would of." Please write this down on a sticky note and stick it to your computer monitor. Also, please tell everyone you know. Thanks!

I type too fast and also having different thoughts in my head, but I don't need to explain that to you. Do you think you could not be a grammar nazi and just read the site and not be a jerk? There is no such thing as "would of" no shit really!? Oh I'm so glad you helped me. It's nice to know that there is someone who is absolutely perfect in all things even at being a tool.

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I don't know, it just seems too soon to put out a dark remake of Enchanted. Tongue

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I have to ask, Thomas, what do witches *actually* look like?

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Thomas Duke's picture
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rabbit_with_fangs wrote:

I have to ask, Thomas, what do witches *actually* look like?

I meant the Disney Snow White witch. Charlize doesn't look menacing or interesting to me. Maybe she turns evil looking in the movie but she doesn't in the trailer (she only has a black dress on towards the end).

Yes, technically, someone practicing witchcraft can look like anything, but I prefer my evil SNow White witches to be a bit gothy and a bit scary. Happy

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i just figured out who Stewart resembles, at least in that Joan still: Robin Tunney.
i don't know if Tunney is in better standing in the PlanetFury books than Stewart, but i like her, i think.
Dunno if she can act or not, but she's very attractive. And she's got that weird limpid soulful thing going on with the eyes.
The resemblance might have been enough to give Stewart a chance, until i saw my first few minutes of Twilight a few weeks ago. Worse than i'd imagined.
Stewart will have to do a lot more than look like somebody to ever redeem herself for it.
So, um, that's about it. I had to root around to find this thread and provide this closure. Now you can all go right ahead and exhale.

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marcdamien wrote:

i just figured out who Stewart resembles, at least in that Joan still: Robin Tunney.
i don't know if Tunney is in better standing in the PlanetFury books than Stewart, but i like her, i think.
Dunno if she can act or not, but she's very attractive. And she's got that weird limpid soulful thing going on with the eyes.

I've always thought Robin Tunney was very talented. Plus, she's not some skinny actress chick. She looks like a real person. Catch her playing second fiddle every week on The Mentalist...hey, it's a gig.

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Robin Tunney is a fucking brilliant actress. Just watch EMPIRE RECORDS, THE CRAFT or NIAGRA, NIAGRA. Tunney deserves the career that Hilary Swank has.

How dare you utter her name in the same breath as that plank Kristen Stewart.

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