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Piranha 3D

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So who's going to see the boobs and the blood this weekend?

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Tristan Sinns's picture
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Me! I'll probably see it Friday and do a 'Day Two Review'.

I ain't expecting rocket science - but I'm expecting boobs and blood! In 3D! I'm looking forward to it.

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I'm pretty excited about seeing Richard Dreyfuss reprise his Matt Hooper. The epic piranha attack should be impressive. 500 extras and lots of body parts in that one scene alone. Plus Eli Roth getting his head crushed. Should be fun but I have to admit I'm not a fan of Aja.

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I really liked Haute Tension as well as the Hills Have Eyes remake - but Mirrors? It blew his record for me and showed Aja is as fallible as the rest.

This looks like a complete deviation from all of those films though. He's just shooting for boobs and blood - complete entertainment. I'm thinking it'll be a good time. Laughing out loud

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Yeah, two days ago I spent the day at a beach on Lake Michigan and it was packed. Lots of boobs but sadly no blood. Last night I watched Jaws so I'm totally in the mood. I actually have never seen the original. I'm not afraid to admit I'm a huge James Cameron fan but haven't watched Piranha 2 either. Since he disavowed himself of it I didn't feel it was necessary to watch it.

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Tristan Sinns's picture
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I'm part of a monthly movie club, where we get together one Saturday a month and watch 2-3 movies of a specific theme. Every time we have a different "host", who picks the theme of the night, and then everyone brings movies that match that theme and the host picks which ones we watch.

Maybe five years ago (yikes), Heidi was the "host" for a month and she picked (something like) "Terrible Twos" - in other words, bad follow up films. We watched Beast Master 2 and *drumroll* Piranha 2.

It was a good time. Laughing out loud

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Me, me me!!!!! I've been waiting all summer for this one!

I'm going to try to get there Friday night, but it depends on work. If I miss that, it's a early Saturday morning showing. Either way, I won't miss opening weekend.

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I'm predicting $28 million opening weekend based on how well ANOES and The Wolfman did even though Piranha is obviously much more obscure but it's also a real summer movie and Aja is a popular guy. I could be way overestimating it and it'll wind up doing about as well as The Crazies.

Aside from the earthquakes, mud slides and forest fires L.A. must be a really cool place to live. I'd have a hard enough time finding even one person to have a movie club with. My fiancee is about as close as I can get but she likes chick flicks.

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Cash Bailey's picture
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The folks at Lake Havasu want to ensure the dumb-asses out there that it doesn't actually have an infestation of piranha:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/movies/2010/08/piranha-3d-lake-havasu-to...

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I hope that was some kind of publicity stunt.

If not, those people asking if the piranha were removed from the lake deserve to be eaten by a school of the little nippers. At least it would keep them from breeding and spreading the "dumb as a bag of rocks" gene.

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That's funny. I can believe that some people think the fish were real. More likely though will be all the people showing up to watch the wet t-shirt contest MC'd by Eli Roth.

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By the way, Tristan beware...

Piranha 3D -- Alexandre Aja's updating of Joe Dante's killer fish cult classic -- opens in theaters today. It looks to be a wild and cheesy good time featuring lots of gore and naked flesh. Most of that naked flesh comes courtesy of the film's spoof of the Girls Gone Wild videos. Wild Wild Girls! is the film's version of the popular video series best known for getting drunken college girls to flash their breasts on camera -- and actor Jerry O'Connell plays a character loosely based on GGW founder Joe Francis.

Francis wants the world to know that it's a part inspired by him and not him specifically -- and to make sure that point is clear he's had an LA law firm send out a letter cautioning everyone to make sure they don't disparage Mr. Francis when talking about the film or use his name in conjunction with O'Connell's character. The letter points out that websites like Bloody-Disgusting and NYPost.com have made statements insinuating that O'Connell plays Joe Francis in the movie. That's a no-no, apparently.

Some of the highlights from the letter are as follows: "We caution all those associated with this film to refrain from maligning Mr. Francis in promoting the film or otherwise." The repercussions for not refraining from maligning Mr. Francis? "Any defamatory or disparaging statements; or depictions, in the media or the film itself, or statements that portray Mr. Francis in a false light, will be met with swift litigation to recover substantial damages, including punitive damages to discourage such conduct in the future." Or in other words, they'll sue the crap out of you.

So, now piranha aren't the scariest thing at the box office this weekend -- the shark attorneys are out and they smell blood in the water. Everyone be on their best behavior when talking about Joe Francis.

I'm going to the first showing today.

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Just got back and now my fiancee wants to go so here I go again.

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I guess I just don't like big budget, Hollywood remakes directed by Aja.

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Cash Bailey's picture
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RAN wrote:

By the way, Tristan beware...

Piranha 3D -- Alexandre Aja's updating of Joe Dante's killer fish cult classic -- opens in theaters today. It looks to be a wild and cheesy good time featuring lots of gore and naked flesh. Most of that naked flesh comes courtesy of the film's spoof of the Girls Gone Wild videos. Wild Wild Girls! is the film's version of the popular video series best known for getting drunken college girls to flash their breasts on camera -- and actor Jerry O'Connell plays a character loosely based on GGW founder Joe Francis.

Francis wants the world to know that it's a part inspired by him and not him specifically -- and to make sure that point is clear he's had an LA law firm send out a letter cautioning everyone to make sure they don't disparage Mr. Francis when talking about the film or use his name in conjunction with O'Connell's character. The letter points out that websites like Bloody-Disgusting and NYPost.com have made statements insinuating that O'Connell plays Joe Francis in the movie. That's a no-no, apparently.

Some of the highlights from the letter are as follows: "We caution all those associated with this film to refrain from maligning Mr. Francis in promoting the film or otherwise." The repercussions for not refraining from maligning Mr. Francis? "Any defamatory or disparaging statements; or depictions, in the media or the film itself, or statements that portray Mr. Francis in a false light, will be met with swift litigation to recover substantial damages, including punitive damages to discourage such conduct in the future." Or in other words, they'll sue the crap out of you.

So, now piranha aren't the scariest thing at the box office this weekend -- the shark attorneys are out and they smell blood in the water. Everyone be on their best behavior when talking about Joe Francis.

I'm going to the first showing today.

Typical Joe Francis bullshit. Anyone says anything bad about him he cries like a bitch and runs to his lawyers.

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I'm hitting the theaters at noon tomorrow. Would go tonight, but it's my 6th day straight at work and I just don't think I'll be in the right frame of mind come 10 pm tonight.

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Tristan Sinns's picture
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RAN wrote:

I guess I just don't like big budget, Hollywood remakes directed by Aja.

You didn't like it?!? I'm honestly surprised! We miss each other yet again - I actually dug this one.

I agree that it is not a smart film, but I think what it does, it does very well. I think for it to become "truly" good, it should have done some fun clever work in deconstructing "nature attacks" films, while still having all the gore and boobs.

Review is up by the way: http://www.fangirltastic.com/content/piranha-3d-2010

I had decided that Joe Francis wasn't worth bringing up - the guy's a joke if he can't take a parody. Don't put yourself into the public eye if you don't want to see yourself parodied. It's just the cost of any form of fame, no matter how minor.

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Are you fucking serious that guy threaten legal action against people making comments about him? Oh god that dude is a moron seriously, there I said it you Joe Francis are a complete waste of space and a failure of the male species so suck on that.

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You know Aja promised boobs and blood and he delivered in spades. My inner teenage boy was loving it. I guess I should have stopped thinking about everything else. After seeing it twice though I just could not help but feel that the first and third acts only exist so they can call the second a movie. I thought it was really dumb but then that's the point of a Piranha movie isn't it? There are tons of horror movies that I enjoy despite and sometimes because of their stupidity but I think when I see a movie that has a big budget like this one I just expect there to be some cleverness about the dumbness. I mean, "I'm like an electric eel. I can fit through such tight spaces it's shocking." Is there any call for a line of dialogue like that even in a dumb movie? It isn't even dumb it's just lazy.

The 3D is horrible. Jaws 3D was better. I hate this post-production 3D crap. It wasn't worth the extra $3 and I didn't have the option of seeing it in 2D. Say what you will about Avatar but at least the 3D was done right.

I dunno Matt Hooper was awesome. The T&A was awesome. The gore was awesome. And even the performances were pretty good. So why am I complaining?

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What this movie needs is beer, a couple of shots of Vodka and a couch. I won't hesitate to buy it on Blu-ray.

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Tristan Sinns's picture
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RAN wrote:

What this movie needs is beer, a couple of shots of Vodka and a couch. I won't hesitate to buy it on Blu-ray.

That's exactly what this movie needs - maybe a few friends over as well.

I agree the movie does have it's stupid moments. In the last act, it even pulls the old "the boat won't start and the piranha's are chasing us!" routine, which is just the old "the car won't start and the monster from space is chasing us!" without the benefit of wheels.

It pretty much feels the film completely flaunts how silly it is. It's a little like Snakes on a Plane in that regard.

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Yeah, this is definitely a buddy movie. I don't know if it makes for a good date movie. My fiancee didn't like it at all although the gratuitous nudity wasn't a problem for her she just thought it was stupid.

You ripped Expendables a new one because of the plot but you accept it in Piranha and vice-versa for me. Funny how that happens. You went so far as to write about how it could have been fixed and I was doing the same thing for Piranha my second time through. I think the movie could have kept all the T&A and gore while having an engaging plot and would have been a lot better.

It's kind of surprising that even mainstream critics are loving this movie. I can't really figure that one out. That's good for horror I suppose but could have happened to much better movies.

Oh well. Vampires Suck is still killing it at the box office.

I appreciated the lesbo mermaid scene but damn those girls have some lungs don't they? I mean actual lungs. They held their breath for a good 5 minutes at least. Screw pole dancing they should be free diving and fishing.

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I enjoyed the film, stupid plot and all. Yea, the film is as dumb as a bag of rocks, but it's hard to criticize the plot when a carnivorous fish burps up a mangled piece of male anatomy. It's like the film is daring you to call it stupid.

Read my full review here.

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I guess I'll write a review too even though it's late. I won't mind being the lone voice of dissent.

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Bigmac wrote:

Read my full review here.

Nice review!

I agree on giving the girls a bit more. I mean, if I get a bunch of attractive females naked to look at, I don't see why women aren't given eye candy as well. Fair is fair!

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Well, they do get a 3D penis but yeah my fiancee didn't have a whole lot to look at since she's not into women sadly. All the guys in the movie were pretty regular. I actually felt a bit like a caveman bringing her to see it. It seemed like something a frat boy would make. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I agree with both of your reviews and everyone else's on the internet but I don't know. Something is wrong with me I suppose. I'm turning 40 soon. I can't believe that I've suddenly matured. Although I will say that my finacee can hang with the best of them in this movie so maybe a seeing a nice rack on screen just doesn't impress me as much as what I see in real life on a regular basis but I must stress that I am not complaining.

Oh to be 18 again.

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Thanks, Tristan!

RAN, I don't think it's an age thing. I'm older then you (about ready to leave my 40s behind) and really enjoyed the film. But after watching it, I knew not everyone would. I love crappy movies, for reasons unknown, and this film does everything possible to imitate the lousy SyFy monster film I love to laugh at. Hell, I was enjoying myself so much that I missed the fact that the nerdy looking cameraman on the boat basically vanished at some point! It appears his death was edited out (maybe sacrificed to the MPAA), and will resurface on the DVD.

That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, it just means you didn't like the movie. And I can understand you feeling like a caveman after bringing your girlfriend to see it. The film really plays out like it was written by a horny teenager in some spots.

I can't wait for your review of it. I'm sure you have some valid points for not liking the film and I'd love to hear them.

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Bigmac wrote:

Hell, I was enjoying myself so much that I missed the fact that the nerdy looking cameraman on the boat basically vanished at some point! It appears his death was edited out (maybe sacrificed to the MPAA), and will resurface on the DVD.

How freaking funny - I missed that as well. I was just overwhelmed by gore and boobs (they were probably counting on that). But, you're right, that guy just suddenly wasn't there anymore.

I googled around and found someone else say that the edit was because they literally ran out of money for the effect they were planning on his death. Given all the other gore and poon, I can't imagine it was death due to MPAA. If it was due to lack of funds - well, that's almost silly, but a shame if true.

The extras on the DVD should be fun. Laughing out loud

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(and I'm 40+ too! not an age thing! I'll love boobs and gore when I'm 90!)

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Wow, nice catch on the Goggle search. Too bad about his death, but I was in sensory overload as well when he just vanished, and didn't even notice. If that doesn't say how much fun I was having with the movie, I don't know what does.

I'm still amazed at how much they got past the MPAA. All the nudity, the gore was staggering. The movie wouldn't have gotten on the screen 20, even 10 years ago. Makes you wonder how much trouble some of the films of the 80s would have now.

And I'm on the same old age plan as you. Boobs and gore forever!

But I still wouldn't mind them throwing something in for the ladies. Might make date night easier in the old age home! Smile

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Yeah, I missed that too.

Don't get me wrong I didn't dislike the T&A at all. Here's my review but keep in mind that I'm not anywhere near as good as you guys. This is only the 6th movie review I have ever written. I do realize this one rambles on and may be a bit nonsensical.

http://cinematichorrorarchive.wordpress.com/2010/08/23/piranha-3d-2010

I can't figure out how to post a link. Haha.

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Nice review, RAN. Just keep writing and you'll learn how to tighten things up. I've been writing reviews on blogs for over 2 years and all that practice has helped me a lot.

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It's pretty bad I know. I was more concerned about actually trying to review Prom Night, The Final Destination and Pontypool so I think they're slightly better and much more focused. I'll keep at it and improve because I enjoy it.

Years back I wrote PC game reviews for a start-up UK based gaming site. I got pretty good at it and had a little following of Brits. They went on to be one of the largest gaming sites over there. I had a good time doing that. Since I was the only PC guy I took it upon myself to call up tons of peripheral manufacturers to have them send me product to test and review. I got tons of cool stuff. I'm a peripheral junkie.

Anyway, I want to keep doing this for fun but my real goal is to take a few English and creative writing courses and write a novel. I was going to write a screenplay but this idea I have is begging to be made into a book. I was telling mine and my fiancees kids about it a few weeks ago and they made me stop because they were getting scared. That was a good sign to me that I'm on the right track with something. It's a nature-run-amok story about something that I don't think many people know about. I posted about it once on a forum and nobody believed me.

Thanks for reading anyway.

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Hey, the book sounds great. If you're scaring people by telling them a story, you're on the right track.

And I didn't think the review was bad, RAN. Yes, you rambled at times and you could have tightened it up a bit. And that's only my opinion, so take it for what it's worth. But you stated what you like and didn't like about the film, brought up some solid points and gave your honest opinion in a clear manner. It's a solid review.

I'm interested in reading more, so be sure to post when you finish the others you mentioned.

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Thanks for the kind words of encouragement Bigmac! Those other reviews are there already if you'd really like to read them. I wrote them about a month ago. I want to check out your blog more too.

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Bigmac wrote:

Nice review, RAN. Just keep writing and you'll learn how to tighten things up.

This is good advice - just the repetition of writing reviews over and over (and over and over) is great for establishing a rhythm and style. I don't think any form of writing is intuitive, and writing reviews isn't any different. It is a learned skill and so takes practice.

A couple things I do that I've found to help:

Take notes! I would have thought this was obvious, but I've discovered I'm about the only one who does it. I don't think I've seen anyone else do it. I always bring a small notepad to any film I plan to review, and scribble in the darkness anything that pops in my head. I have a rule - write down *anything* that occurs to me, regardless of whether I think I'll mention it in a review. There is no writing down a "wrong" thing. Sometimes my notes will be as simple as "THIS MOVIE IS RETARDED" in capital letters.

I started doing this because I found that I was always forgetting to mention certain things. I'd write a review, and it'd be "okay" - and then later I would read someone else's review and find that they discussed a point that had occurred to me while I watched the movie, but I forgot about by the time I sat down to write. Writing notes can be very helpful in reminding yourself of potentially chatworthy material.

Before you write your review - take a minute (only a minute) to write a crude structure. I usually write out at least a half dozen sentences or so, each one summing up a point I want to make or a topic I'd like to address. I feel this helps me settle into how to flow the review from point to point in a (hopefully) semi-graceful way.

Also, rewrite - a lot! I comb through a review at least a dozen times before posting it. Probably more like a couple dozen. I read it over and over again, until I can make it through at least once without editing anything at all. This is a great way to clean up an article or review and I'd recommend any writer (of, well, anything) to pursue aggressive rewrites.

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That's some great advice. I do take notes as well. I got into the habit when I was reviewing games because they can take up to 20+ hours and several days to complete so it's essential so when I sit down with intention of reviewing a movie I always have a pad of paper and a pen sitting next to me. Roger Ebert takes notes too.

I never tried doing it in a darkened theater though.

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I write most of my notes as the credits roll. I don't leave the theater without having a few points written down on paper.

As for rewriting, read Rule 17 of the Principles of Composition in Strunk and White and take it to heart: Omit Needless Words.

As an example, I trimmed about two lines off this post. Yes, I edit all my posts, what can I say.

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Bigmac wrote:

I write most of my notes as the credits roll.

I actually scribble in the dark during the film. It's not necessarily easy. Often space on the page is wasted because I skip too many lines. More than once I've written a sentence directly over another sentence.

I think one of the funniest use of notes I've heard was in Ebert's review of the Clash of the Titans remake. He mentioned that, at the end of the movie, he looked down at his notes and found the only thing he had written was "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" in big letters.

I love that. Laughing out loud

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I read that too. Very funny. I love Roger Ebert. I think he's the most brilliant critic out there. I can tell if I'll like a movie regardless if it's a good or bad review. Maybe it's because I know him as a person too. He's pretty much been around my entire life living here in Chicago. I spend hours on his website even reading reviews of movies I'm not interested in just because I love his writing so much. His journal entries are great reads too. The critics he highlights from around the world are very good also. I think that since he's lost the ability to speak his writing has been getting even better and he seems so much more open-minded now. I'm thinking he's due another Pulitzer.

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My favorite movie (so far) of 2010.

Vlad The Impaler's picture
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Check out on my site, my article 'Piranha (2010): Second View 2D, and a Rant About Post Conversion 3D' -

http://cinematichorrorarchive.wordpress.com/2010/09/06/piranha-2010-seco...

Thanks for reading.

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Finally got around to finish my thought on Shout! Factory's release of the the original Piranha and Humanoids from the Deep. Check it out at:

http://shadowoverportland.blogspot.com/2010/08/corman-goodness-keeps-com...

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Tristan Sinns's picture
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Bigmac wrote:

Finally got around to finish my thought on Shout! Factory's release of the the original Piranha and Humanoids from the Deep. Check it out at:

http://shadowoverportland.blogspot.com/2010/08/corman-goodness-keeps-coming-with.html

Well done double review! I particularly like the comparison of romantic styles between the Creature from the Black Lagoon and the Humanoids of the Deep. You're right - the Humanoids weren't nearly as shy as the poor old fashioned Creature. It's interesting to me because it's obvious that it was the morals of the time that effected the behavior of the beast.

I loved both of those movies. Laughing out loud

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Thanks, Tristan!

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Very nice Bigmac. Those are the two Corman releases I want the most. I'd love to get the entire collection because I think the cover art on them is amazing but I really think they are over-priced. $10 a piece for the Blu-ray's would be much more reasonable.

David, I enjoyed your 2nd take on Piranha 3D too. I think that if I had seen the movie in 2D and only paid $5 for it, I would have enjoyed it a lot more than I did. The thing is my opinion on 3D conversion is something I came up with on my own after watching so many 3D movies since The Final Destination came out. I do, however, have to take a difference of opinion with Cameron where his idea for Titanic 3D is concerned. I'm sure that he can do a conversion much better than pretty much anyone else but I really don't want to see him validating the process. Either film it in 3D or forget about it. That's my stance right now.

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Very nice Bigmac. Those are the two Corman releases I want the most. I'd love to get the entire collection because I think the cover art on them is amazing but I really think they are over-priced. $10 a piece for the Blu-ray's would be much more reasonable.

David, I enjoyed your 2nd take on Piranha 3D too. I think that if I had seen the movie in 2D and only paid $5 for it, I would have enjoyed it a lot more than I did. The thing is my opinion on 3D conversion is something I came up with on my own after watching so many 3D movies since The Final Destination came out. I do, however, have to take a difference of opinion with Cameron where his idea for Titanic 3D is concerned. I'm sure that he can do a conversion much better than pretty much anyone else but I really don't want to see him validating the process. Either film it in 3D or forget about it. That's my stance right now. I kind of would like to do some research and write an article on this whole 3D debate. There are also some prominent director's who are completely against 3D all together like J.J. Abrahms. Guys who tell the studios to fuck off when they insist that every movie should be in 3D. I also agree with them and think it's important they speak out too. But, alas I'd have nowhere to put it.,

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RAN wrote:

Very nice Bigmac. Those are the two Corman releases I want the most. I'd love to get the entire collection because I think the cover art on them is amazing but I really think they are over-priced. $10 a piece for the Blu-ray's would be much more reasonable.

Thanks, RAN. One cool thing about the DVD covers is that some are reversible. You can switch them to show a different poster art and title. For example, Humanoids from the Deep can be reversed to show the poster art for Monster, another name the film was released under. At least that's the case for the DVDs. Don't know about the Blu-ray.

And the price really is quite reasonable (at least for the DVDs), considering all the extras that Shout! Factory added to the films. Really worth checking out.

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Tristan Sinns's picture
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Mr. Bigmac, did you happen to get my email regarding your article? Hat

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No. When did you send it? I just went through my email folder twice and didn't find it, but I'll check again if you can give me an approximate time and date.

My address is:shadowoverportland@live.com

Just checked it and it works, if you want to resend it.

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Hmmm! That's the one I used - perhaps I'm hitting your spam filter?

Just re-sent Wink It's coming from tristansinns@deathwiggle.com.

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