After witnessing the nauseating hype-down-our-throats marketing campaign for Paranormal Activity, I decided out of pure spite to not watch the movie. But there I was at the video store with nothing better to do and the horror nerd inside me demanding some kind of satisfaction, so I swallowed my foolish pride and dropped my three bucks on the counter.
Shutting off the lights in my apartment, I donned a pair of headphones, popped in the DVD, and scooched right up to my television screen. "Thrill me," I dared it. Wisely, I picked the "alternate ending" option on the menu screen, as I'd been warned that the Steven Spielberg CG theatrical ending ruins the entire film at the last minute.
All of you know the story. There's a demon in this couple's apartment and the boyfriend decides to videotape the fiasco. Demonic shit escalates and then hits the fan, the end. SPOILER ALERT - in my DVD's "alternate ending", the babe slits her throat with a kitchen knife in front of the camera at the end - nobody gets thrown into anything, and Indiana Jones CG is blessedly absent.
Although I liked the movie (a lot), I wasn't particularly scared. There were some creepy parts, but nothing major. It was only after I hopped into bed a few hours later that I realized the genius of this movie - most of the bad shit happens after the couple falls asleep, and when you're asleep, you're totally defenseless. I'd be drifting off to sleep and the scene where the demon lifts the blanket and drags the woman out of bed would sneak into my mind and wake me all the way up again. And then I'd remember the black shadow by the door, or the obviously demonic pawprints in the white powder.
"You're being stupid," I thought angirly. I couldn't believe a movie was getting to me - but it sure was. I felt a little better the next morning when my manly-man co-worker James admitted that he too had been freaked out by the movie, especially at bedtime.
On the one hand I admire a horror film that can actually do its job, but on the other hand I don't really like being so scared that I can't fall asleep. Maybe I'm getting too old for this horror shit, because now that I remember what a real horror movie is I'm not sure I can handle it.
Paranormal Activity (2009)
Written and Directed by Oren Peli
("Cutthroat" ending) * * * * * (out of five stars)
(Spielberg CG ending) * * * (out of five stars)
Review by one thousand wolves
Good move picking the alternate ending. I knew what the original ending was like (spoiled in the trailer), and I was sure my friend would be able to handle it (she doesn't like gore). However, we watched the alternate ending and agree that it is superior to the theatrical one.
Yea, that movie really gets you listening to all the creaking and such around the house at night, don't it. If you haven't seen it yet, ignore the hype and give it a try. Late at night, with the lights off.
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