Pac-Man Forever

This post used to be my horror story, but the fiction was so pitchblack negative that it made me physically ill to re-read it, and I felt bad for putting it on an otherwise positive and fun-loving scary site like this one (also I got kind of superstitious having Jesus as a main character). So here's something new to take up the space.

I spend a lot of time at work playing the original Pac-Man on the computer. You can play it for free on the internet, and it's low-fi enough to not annoy your co-workers, especially if you kill the sound. So I was playing today and I wondered what it was that gave this video game such power over the masses - why has it been popular for so long? And then it hit me - Pac-Man is man himself (or woman herself, if you play Mrs. Pac-Man).

There you are, this dude (or dame) stuck in a maze. And you're basically fucked. As soon as the game starts, four ghosts attempt to murder you, and they never stop. If you manage to eat the ghosts, they simply return to their reincarnation chamber and come right back after you. You get all excited when you complete the maze, only to discover that, not only do you need to do it again, you need to do it again forever. And each time you do it, the ghosts are going to get meaner and more difficult to avoid. This is so fucking profound it makes me want to throw up.

And then, if you're some kind of freak video game genius and manage to make it to the highest possible level, a kill screen bumps you off and it's GAME OVER. So now when I play I'm thinking less and less about scoring points and more and more about Pac-Man's psychological well being. His psyche must be a fucking train wreck by now. I try to do fun things with him, like "buzz the tower" (swoop past the reincarnation chamber just to agitate the ghosts) and breakdance in the middle of the screen (hit the back and fourth arrow keys really fast, preferably in front of a ghost).