My mommy likes cemeteries.

I have been reading a lot about women in horror and what exactly their role is in regards to film, literature, art, and media. I have read several pieces waxing philosophic about what horror means to a woman from both male and female standpoints. There are articles exploring feminism and the roles that are cast for women in horror films; especially during this new rash of Hollywood-violence that has America turned on its ear.
Didn't we go through this during the eighties? Apparently Americans have selective amnesia. If anything, this newest craze of blood-drenched, torturous, and re-hashed horror films has proven that controversy, sex, and a "big name" can sell you pretty much anything; and more than once, at that. At any rate this is a valid subject and it should be addressed. However, I would like to touch upon something on a smaller scale, but no less important.
Motherhood and horror.As a mother of two, I have come across several folks who give me the evil-eye when I tell them what I do, what I am interested in…horror. I have been set on eggshells and sent walking when asked the question (which royally annoys me), "Do you let your children watch horror movies?" This is always asked as if I were nothing more than a maggot writhing in the bloody miasma that horror is viewed as. Depending upon my mood, I tell them yes and leave them slack-jawed. I get retaliatory and challenging responses such as, "Do you know that is abuse?" and "How could you?"
These are the types of people to whom I am addressing. These people have no clue. These are the 'nons'. The truth of the matter is, horror movies have been relegated to be viewed as nothing more than blood and guts, and that's it. Oh, and naked women screaming. Not that there is anything wrong with gore (or naked women) because I enjoy watching a good disembowelment as much as the next guy. But people forget that horror encompasses much more than blood and gore. "Gory" stuff should be a highlight to the story, not its detriment. Though sadly, that happens more often than not. My point is, all too often folks—namely the "non-horror" or anti-horror types ('nons') forget about movies such as "Goonies", "Gremlins", "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" (Disney, 1958!), classics from the 1950's and 1960's such as "The day the earth stood still" or "Journey to the center of the earth", let's throw "Godzilla" in the mix as well; more recently we have "Monster House" and "The Corpse Bride". Venturing off the subject of movies, we have the Nickelodeon television series, "Are you afraid of the dark?", "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", "Goosebumps" (both books and a television series)…

Klaatu (Michael Rennie) and Gort (Lock Martin) give a message to humanity in "The day the earth stood still"

Did you know that HBO-family has a children's show called "Crashbox"? Why do I bring this up? Because "Crashbox", an educational show for children, has horror-elements to it and my sons love it! "Captain Bones" is a dead-pirate (skeleton) who loves nothing more than mathematical puzzles. "Haunted house party" delivers information on history and historical figures via silhouettes in the windows of a dilapidated "Munsters"-style house decorated with live-gargoyles, surrounded by bare-branched trees and a cemetery. They even mention the words, "dead", "deceased", and things of that nature.
Speaking of haunted houses, how many of these people who address me with raised eyebrows celebrate Halloween by taking their children to a haunted house? I'm sorry, is a witch, or a scarecrow-that-moves, or a ghost aka person draped with a white bed-sheet really that innocuous to a child? No. Because they are "scary figures" or "spooky". We as adults view them as innocent because we know differently. But children are exposed to these things once a year, some folks expose them to such things a little more often, and we talk to our children about spooky fun.

"The Corpse Bride" by Burton
On the Halloween thing, when I take my children out trick-or-treating, not only am I covered in gore (sometimes I'm as harmless as a clown), but there are older children—sometimes older siblings dressed in horror-themed costumes, people covered in gore to be made up like zombies or dead-people. All kinds of weaponry are carried, albeit plastic, and we all have a knowing-giggle at the little kids' expense when they begin to shake and hide, and cry out in fear. We hug them and say, "Awww, it's okay honey. It's just pretend! It's scary, isn't it? But don't worry honey, that's not real." Or even, "Oh come here sweetie, I'll protect you!" and we hug them close while we move our children further away from said scary object or discuss how fake it was.
Another realm that is victim to the suppressive collective is horror literature. I let my children read horror-themed literature too. Gasp! Yes, books like the aforementioned "Goosebumps", classics like Bunnicula, illustrated books like "Boris and Bella" by Crimi and Grimly, "Where the wild things are", and as they age, "Scary stories to tell in the dark", "The Thief of Always", "Eyes of the Dragon", E. A. Poe, V. C. Andrews, Nancy Drew, or Betsy Haynes' "Bone Chillers". It also goes without saying that what camp-out is complete without ghost stories told around a campfire? None.
I won't even get into the video game argument. I will leave that one to those meddling kids.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with allowing your children to be exposed to these things; As a parent, it is my responsibility to gauge what my child's tolerance is as well as my own and obviously, one does not force a child to watch, read, or listen to these things unless they enjoy these things and to ensure that the level of "horror" is "age-appropriate". My role is to ensure that my children understand that there are worse things in the world, things such as war and racism. To me, "horror"could bethe level of violence, neglect, abuse, and ignorance that in my opinion is permeating the entire world—not just America, and it is leaving apathy in its wake...I digress. "Horror is". That's it. It just is. Whether we want to have it in our lives, or not have it in our lives, it exists. I would like to shield my children from "the horror" as long as I can, allowing them as much innocence as I can, but we should be realistic about things.
With that said, I am not suggesting that a person sit down and watch Nightmare on Elm Street with their five year old (hey, when they are eleven years old maybe) but these films, books, games, etc. are all forgotten once the word horror comes into play, and I am left as a parental-pariah due to this unenlightened attitude toward horror and horror movies. I could probably blame the kinds of horror movies that are allowed onto the big screen these days. I could blame the media for the hype. I could blame anything, really. But the fact is horror has a stigma attached to it. I have to state for the record that I am not afraid of said stigma and will gladly tell anyone who asks, that I love horror. I always have. I always will.

In exploring my role as a mother who loves horror, I have found that I have to be more discerning; probably more-so than the 'nons'. It is my duty to discuss everything with my children, especially horror, violence, and sexual matters. It is my duty to protect them, guide them, and help them understand a healthy way of life.
I don't drink alcoholexcept on occasion, I have quit smoking for the betterment of my own health but also for the love of my children and family, and I don't do drugs. I haven't volunteered in awhile, shameful to admit that— but I do volunteer to various causes. I also stop to help that person who has been stranded on the side of the road with no one to call and no one to help. I help carry groceries for the elder-person struggling to get to their vehicle; I stop to help someone who has fallen down, I donate to charities when and where I can. I don't lie to my children—unless you count the times that I have said, "Cake? There's no more cake sweetie." So that I can defuse a melt-down before bed. I try to set an example by being the example.
I communicate with my children. Yes, they are young, capping off at five years of age right now, but my children have minds, they have feelings, and I address them as individuals. I talk to my kids and get involved in what they watch, what they do, and assist them with making healthy choices. I assist them in making their own choices as well. I take my kids to museums, I read them books, my children watch Noggin, sing their abc's; I try to coerce them into eating their veggies, chase them with hair-combs to untangle their rat's nests aka hair, I make sure that they take their vitamins and that they brush their teeth. I kiss and hug them often, and I tuck them into bed with a song every night.
After that, I pop in a horror movie—sometimes it is J-horror, or a zombie-something, or something akin to Anthropophagus (do I gotta bust out ol' Dickie for that one?); Sometimes it is Labyrinth, Fright Night, Sleepaway Camp, or The Birds.
Sometimes I watch Star Trek instead.
But the concerning question that is always on the lips of 'nons' is, do I let my children watch horror movies? I will answer that question with a question: "Can you give me more credit than that?" Or better yet, why not follow up my yes-response with, "Ah. Do they like Hitchcock, independent horror films, or something more along the lines of Argento?"
You will make a horror-mom smile.
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Written by Gabby Goff
Animated images by Bryan Bloodsoaker