Mr. April: Robert Patrick

Behind the icy blue eyes and heavily muscled arms of sexy actor Robert Patrick lies something you'd least expect: a great sense of humor. No, seriously! The man most famous for portraying the evil T-100 model in Terminator 2 actually gets to show his funny side in his new sci-fi comedy Alien Trespass, out April 3rd in theaters. "I prefer to have more female fans than male fans," says Robert. "I got into this business for the ladies." Which is why he was happy to be our Mr. April 2009. Robert has starred in the horror films The Faculty, Decoy, and the recent Autopsy; the action/thrillers Last Gasp and Zero Tolerance; the TV series The X-Files; the Roger Cormon apocalyptic joyrides Warlords from Hell and Futurehunters; and even now stars in the TV series The Unit. Feast your eyes on the awesome awesomeness that is Robert Patrick...

Tell us a romantic love story involving YOU:

Mrs. Barbara Patrick "I met my wife in a play reading the first play I did when I got to Los Angeles called Go in 1984. I fell for her right there. She was just... I knew immediately that that was my wife, that was my girl. It took her about a year to even go out with me. .. Eventually things lined up she went out on a date with me. She went with me to my first film audition and I got it.

Robert Patrick as a small town cop dealing with an alien invasion in 'Alien Trespass'

Robert in 'The Unit', his TV show. I said 'unit'. huhuhuhuhuh

Question: You got your start with Roger Corman!

Ron Howard, Jack Nicholson, Scorsese... there's so many people that had their roots there. More than 50% of the people working in Hollywood today started by working with Roger Corman. And I am very very proud of that experience!

Horror fans have such a wonderful positive outlook on it. They are so dedicated.

Robert in is second film, Roger Corman's 'Future Hunter'

Robert's sexy torso and tight-whities from 'Future Hunter'. Enjoy!

In Alien Trespass you get to be really funny! That's not what they usually cast you as: the guy who can do comedy. You're usually a killer/cop/jerk of some kind! You also got top be really funny in that sci-fi movie Strange Wilderness.

I don't get to do much of that. I'd love to do more. Strange Wilderness; what was fun is that the writing was funny. They gave mea great monologue. I think I drop my trousers and talk about my scrotum for most of my dialogue. You know, we had to play it very straight and sincere, and that's how I like to do comedy.

The only other comedy I did was Striptease, and I did that a little bit bigger, but that guy was messed up on wolf morphine the whole movie so he was a little interesting. But you know, you go wherever they kinda kick you in Hollywood. Hopefully I'll get to do more. It was good chance to try to do something funny. I don't know, I hope it's funny. You tell me!

Robert in 'Strange Wilderness', a sci-fi comedy about sasquatch, or some crap.

If I were going to recommend a Robert Patrick movie to a friend, would you prefer I tell them to see Warlords of Hell or Future Hunter?

Future Hunter not that good. Is that really Robert Patrick stuff?

I'll never forget, I gotta tell you. And I am not avoiding the question. I made Warlords from Hell and then I made Future Hunter for the same director. And I was in NY doing Conan O'brien for The X Files, and here I am in Manhattan in this beautiful hotel and I'm doing all this Regis and Kathy Lee stuff and I have the TV on in the background and all of a sudden I hear this high pitched whiny voice, and I am listening and I go, OMG that's me. What movie is that?' and I look, and I'm horrified, and its Future Hunters, and its on TNT. And I'm just like, 'NOOOOOOO they wouldn't do this to me!',but sure as shit, there it was! It's just a humbling experience.

Warlords has some cool motorcycle stuff. Is my wife in that movie? No. That was Corinne Wallace in that movie. That's where I was cutting my teeth and Thank God. I got to learn a lot of my craft doing movies like that that will never be seen by the light of day except for people like you!

A totally awesomely bad picture of Robert in 'Warlords of Hell'. What the hell is he wearing?

What do you think about a Robert Patrick Film festival where we show Warlords From Hell, Future Hunters, and Killer Instinct?

No! I can't deal with it, please no! Killer Instinct, I think that was my third film. We shot that in the Philippines. I was so bad in that movie. Just horrible.

Robert in 'The X-Files' after Duchovney left. Kinda like watching 'Twin Peaks' after you find out Leland killed Laura. opps. Did I just ruin 'Twin Peaks' for you?

You played an FBI agent on The X Files. But let's see how much you really know about our nation's fine federal detectives. The FBI was created in:

?

1946?

That's a really good guess, except its wrong. The FBI was formed by Teddy Roosevelt in 1908 and was originally called Special AGENTS Forces. In 1935, they changed the name to FBI. I didn't know this either, but I thought that YOU should know this.

I am sorry to disappoint you. I am sorry to disappoint the fans. I'm embarrassed.

Robert scaring the shit out of us in 'The Faculty'

As Dr. Benway in 2008's horror film 'Autopsy'

So, you were a bartender before you became a famous actor?

I was a bartender, a painter, I did construction work, I worked on cars, and I worked in factories. I have done so many things. And I am so lucky that for whatever reason I was inspired by early childhood pop culture, whatever it was, that made me dream of being an actor, didn't really come into play until I really needed it. Cause I couldn't figure out what else to do.

My favorite picture of Robert Patrick ever, from the thriller 'Zero Tolerance'. Gun AND Motorcyle!!! Together at last!

Do you remember what goes into a 'Sex on the Beach'?

No. But I love the name. I was a shitty bartender. A really bad one. Orange Juice? Grenadine, I think? Rum? Haven't made drinks in a long time. That's horrible. You know Tom Cruise in Cocktail? I was never that good. That's the only job I got fired from. I worked at a club on Hollywood Blvd for one night. They thought I was shorting the cash box. And I was desperate for work back then. I lived in my car when I first came here.

Obligatory 'Scary Stud Gun Picture'. From 'Decoy'.

In the thriller 'Last Gasp'

I'll bet they wish you'd come into the bar now. Did you go to Prom? And if so, what did you wear?

I went to two! I wore a powder blue tuxedo. I took Casey Ratcliff, my high school sweetheart, in Detroit. Her brother let me drive his car. He had a Camaro. This was 1977. Then we went to some hotel and... You know all the shenanigans that go on with teenaged people at that time. Crazy stuff! She was a great date. Whatever happened to her?

Then, a couple years later, after I left, I worked in Cleveland and was working in a bar/restaurant. This young lady moved in from somewhere, and she wanted to go to the prom at her high school and for some reason she asked me to take her. And it was such a sweet thing and she was such a sweet kid that said, 'Sure, I'll take you'. And I can't remember her name. But I took her, and I was a gentleman. What was her name? I feel bad that I can't remember. But I was a total gentleman.

As you best remember him, the T-1000!