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Meet Your New Superman

Posted by Theron | Mon, January 31 2011

Today in superhero news, the upcoming Zach Snyder reboot of the Superman franchise (whose main purpose is to help you forget Bryan Singer’s reboot of the Superman franchise) has found its leading man. And there was much rejoicing.

Your new Superman is Henry Cavill, the handsome British actor best known for his supporting role as Charles Brandon in Showtime's ~~softcore series~~ period drama The Tudors. It seems Cavill came to the role of Supes by way of Christopher Nolan, who is producing the new flick. Cavill had auditioned for the part of Batman, and while Nolan decided to go another way, he apparently never forgot Cavill.

Cavill also famously lost the role of James Bond to Daniel Craig, the role of Singer's Superman to Brandon Routh and the role of Edward Cullen in Twilight for being too old. This losing streak led to Cavill being dubbed the "the most unlucky man in Hollywood" by Empire Magazine. Of course, having seen Quantum of Solace , Superman Returns and the Twilight flicks, I want to take this opportunity to rebrand Cavill as "the luckiest man in Hollywood."

Your new Superman is a Taurus, born May 5, 1983, with dark brown hair and dreamy blue eyes. His turn-ons include rugby and Egyptology. His turn-offs include, well, Empire Magazine.

Though there's been some controversy over the fact that the new Man of Steel will be played by a Briton, I worry not. Yes, Superman is the defender of truth, justice and the American way; however, Superman is also an alien and an immigrant from the planet Krypton. So, unless you want to get Homeland Security involved in a fight it truly can't win, I'd pipe down. You should be more concerned about whether it's possible to build a compelling film around a hero whose main flaw is an allergy to a certain green mineral and whose bête noire is a bald super-genius that can't get good help. I remain dubious.

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 18:57

Private J.V. Vasquez

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I can't believe people were bitching about that "OMG Superman is British wtf dude!" I mean really? Is it really that important and I seen that dude on the Tudors and he has the look almost and in that picture shave the 5'clock shadow, get a flat iron to that hair, and there you go that's superman and if you want put some glasses on and there you go there is Clark Kent.

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 15:25

Tristan Sinns

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The guy looks pretty damned Superman-y to me. I'll give it a fair shot!

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 15:25

Thomwade

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You know...its not like he's going to have a British accent. People get worked up over stupid things. It's not like Superman is being played by a black guy or something. That, of course would be unacceptable and worthy of threats.

Though, I would totally watch a Superman movie where the actor portraying him was a Japanese woman.

Mon, 01/31/2011 - 15:38

Superheidi

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Okay, he's dreamy.

I also feel really old, because HE was "too old" to play Edward Cullen, and he's basically 5 years younger than me.

Gah!

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 17:48

Hans

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Superheidi wrote:

Okay, he's dreamy.

I also feel really old, because HE was "too old" to play Edward Cullen, and he's basically 5 years younger than me.

Gah!

And I'm basically 5 years older than you so damn I'm old!

Meh, I might wait for the next reboot.

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 17:52

Theron

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Hans wrote:

Superheidi wrote:

Okay, he's dreamy.

I also feel really old, because HE was "too old" to play Edward Cullen, and he's basically 5 years younger than me.

Gah!

And I'm basically 5 years older than you so damn I'm old!

Meh, I might wait for the next reboot.

Oh, you kids kill me...

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 18:01

Hans

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Theron wrote:

Hans wrote:

Superheidi wrote:

Okay, he's dreamy.

I also feel really old, because HE was "too old" to play Edward Cullen, and he's basically 5 years younger than me.

Gah!

And I'm basically 5 years older than you so damn I'm old!

Meh, I might wait for the next reboot.

Oh, you kids kill me...

I guess we get into exponential expressions with you huh?

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 18:07

Theron

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Hans wrote:

Theron wrote:

Hans wrote:

Superheidi wrote:

Okay, he's dreamy.

I also feel really old, because HE was "too old" to play Edward Cullen, and he's basically 5 years younger than me.

Gah!

And I'm basically 5 years older than you so damn I'm old!

Meh, I might wait for the next reboot.

Oh, you kids kill me...

I guess we get into exponential expressions with you huh?

Heh, I'm so old, my SSN is 7.

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 18:09

Hans

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Theron wrote:

Hans wrote:

Theron wrote:

Hans wrote:

Superheidi wrote:

Okay, he's dreamy.

I also feel really old, because HE was "too old" to play Edward Cullen, and he's basically 5 years younger than me.

Gah!

And I'm basically 5 years older than you so damn I'm old!

Meh, I might wait for the next reboot.

Oh, you kids kill me...

I guess we get into exponential expressions with you huh?

Heh, I'm so old, my SSN is 7.

Good thing for you it's easy to remember.

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 18:22

#10

Theron

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Hans wrote:

Theron wrote:

Hans wrote:

Theron wrote:

Hans wrote:

Superheidi wrote:

Okay, he's dreamy.

I also feel really old, because HE was "too old" to play Edward Cullen, and he's basically 5 years younger than me.

Gah!

And I'm basically 5 years older than you so damn I'm old!

Meh, I might wait for the next reboot.

Oh, you kids kill me...

I guess we get into exponential expressions with you huh?

Heh, I'm so old, my SSN is 7.

Good thing for you it's easy to remember.

What were we talking about?

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 18:26

#11

Hans

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Theron][quote=Hans wrote:

Theron wrote:

Hans wrote:

Theron wrote:

Hans wrote:

Superheidi wrote:

Okay, he's dreamy.

I also feel really old, because HE was "too old" to play Edward Cullen, and he's basically 5 years younger than me.

Gah!

And I'm basically 5 years older than you so damn I'm old!

Meh, I might wait for the next reboot.

Oh, you kids kill me...

I guess we get into exponential expressions with you huh?

Heh, I'm so old, my SSN is 7.

Good thing for you it's easy to remember.

What were we talking about?[/quote

Viagra.

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 19:11

#12

Cash Bailey

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He looks the part but I feel Brandon Routh got a bit of as raw deal. I thought he was good in SUPERMAN LIFTS THINGS.

I just hope this time out they get a better Lois Lane than Blandy McBlanderson they had last time.

Mon, 01/31/2011 - 19:34

#13

Theron

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Cash Bailey wrote:

He looks the part but I feel Brandon Routh got a bit of as raw deal. I thought he was good in SUPERMAN LIFTS THINGS.

I just hope this time out they get a better Lois Lane than Blandy McBlanderson they had last time.

Yes! It should've been called Superman Returns...to Lift Things.

And while I thought Kate Bosworth was totally ginchy as Sandra Dee in Beyond the Sea, her Lois Lane wasn't at all newsworthy (see what I did there — Lois is a reporter, so I said...nevermind). Let's play a game of speculative casting!

I nominate either Rachel McAdams or Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Your turn!

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 20:53

#14

Thomwade

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Theron wrote:

Cash Bailey wrote:

He looks the part but I feel Brandon Routh got a bit of as raw deal. I thought he was good in SUPERMAN LIFTS THINGS.

I just hope this time out they get a better Lois Lane than Blandy McBlanderson they had last time.

Yes! It should've been called Superman Returns...to Lift Things.

A case where skewing younger made no sense. Kidder was 30 at the start of the Superman franchise. Superman Is A Lying, Creepy Stalker Douche-bag takes place five years after Superman 2. So, someone who should have been 36-38 is suddenly 23? Couldn't find a 30-35 year old?

Routh was fine as Superman and Clark-but he never pulled off the transition Reeve was magic when he ripped open the shirt or removed the glasses-it was a transformation. Routh didn't manage that. But I feel bad for the guy-he was not what was wrong with the film. Outside of terrific action sequences, the film was empty.

Mon, 01/31/2011 - 21:11

#15

Cash Bailey

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Theron wrote:

I nominate either Rachel McAdams or Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Your turn!

I gotta go with McAdams. She can play feisty really well and she's just so gosh-darn cute and likeable.

Winstead is beautiful but I've never seen her really act. She was aloof and a bit dull in SCOTT PILGRIM, but that's exactly the role she had to play.

Maybe once I see her in this THING prequel it might give a better indication of what she can do.

I just wonder if they're going to go straight to Lex Luthor as the villain again.

Mon, 01/31/2011 - 21:34

#16

Hans

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Cash Bailey wrote:

Theron wrote:

I nominate either Rachel McAdams or Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Your turn!

I gotta go with McAdams. She can play feisty really well and she's just so gosh-darn cute and likeable.

I loved her in Morning Glory.

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Mon, 01/31/2011 - 21:48

#17

Thomwade

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I'm waiting for Heidi to tell us she hates McAdams and how McAdams has a massive head.

Mon, 01/31/2011 - 22:01

#18

Cash Bailey

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Thomwade wrote:

I'm waiting for Heidi to tell us she hates McAdams and how McAdams has a massive head.

Nobody can hate Rachel McAdams.

Nobody!!!

Mon, 01/31/2011 - 22:25

#19

Private J.V. Vasquez

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Quote:

Nobody can hate Rachel McAdams.

I actually like her, I think she is a decent actress and you know people can say "Red Eye" sucked. I actually thought it was a pretty good little movie and she made it that much more entertaining. It wasn't a great movie, but she certainly made it more watchable. She looks better with brunette hair I think, and she would make a decent Louis Lane which my god ugh Kate Bosworth I thought sucked so much balls in that part lol.

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Tue, 02/01/2011 - 06:02

#20

Hans

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Private J.V. Vasquez wrote:

my god ugh Kate Bosworth I thought sucked so much balls in that part lol.

When you say a woman sucks balls is that really an insult?

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Tue, 02/01/2011 - 08:04

#21

Theron

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Private J.V. Vasquez wrote:

Quote:

Nobody can hate Rachel McAdams.

I thought Red Eye, while a tad-by-the-numbers, was a nice little acting match-up between McAdams and Cillian Murphy. And, yeah, McAdams even made parts of The Hot Chick tolerable. Parts. Plus, she just played a reporter-ish character in the Russell Crowe flick, State of Play. The best part of that movie was the name of McAdams' character: Della Frye.

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Tue, 02/01/2011 - 12:27

#22

Private J.V. Vasquez

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Hans wrote:

Private J.V. Vasquez wrote:

my god ugh Kate Bosworth I thought sucked so much balls in that part lol.

When you say a woman sucks balls is that really an insult?

Yes, you're not hip with the young kids today and guys can suck balls to maybe I should say donkey balls? There that better? lol

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Tue, 02/01/2011 - 13:17

#23

Superheidi

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I don't hate McAdams, but I don't love her.

Lois Lane should be fiery, witty, snarky - how about Emma Stone? Anna Faris? They're both older than 23, and have comic timing.

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Tue, 02/01/2011 - 14:32

#24

Superheidi

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Check out these 1977 Superman screen tests for Lois Lane with Anne Archer, Debra Raffin, Leslie Ann Warren, and Margot Kidder. What a tough choice it must have been!

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Tue, 02/01/2011 - 15:29

#25

Thomwade

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Well, if it were up to me, every movie would have Emma Stone in it. I suspect her playing Gwen Stacy will make that unlikely. But I bet she could do it and be awesome at it.

Hmmm...I do like Anna Farris, but admit I am having a hard time seeing her as the character, but that may be due to seeing her play so many flighty characters.

Kidder really stands out in those auditions-everyone else was good, and likely would have done well...but she really was THE choice.

FUCK!
According to Moviefone? These are the women in the running:
Kristen Stewart, Jessica Biel, Malin Ackerman, Rachel McAdams and 'Glee' star Dianna Agron. Other names lingering around in Early Buzz World include Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Kristen Bell.

Stewart???? Ackerman??!!

Tue, 02/01/2011 - 17:03

#26

Theron

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Thomwade wrote:

According to Moviefone? These are the women in the running:
Kristen Stewart, Jessica Biel, Malin Ackerman, Rachel McAdams and 'Glee' star Dianna Agron. Other names lingering around in Early Buzz World include Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Kristen Bell.

Stewart???? Ackerman??!!

I love Faris and Stone, but they aren't Lois Lane. But maybe, just maybe, Kristin Bell is! She's spunky, talented and my choice for the new America's Sweetheart (now that Sandy Bullock has vacated the role). The more I think about it, the more I like it. She could succeed where Bosworth failed. Bell is like the Anti-Bosworth!

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