Machete (2010)

Directed by: Ethan Maniquis, Robert Rodriguez
Written by: Robert Rodriguez, Álvaro Rodríguez
Cast: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan

Bundled up in the overall awesomeness that was the 2007 film double-feature Grindhouse was a series of fake trailers done with such ecstatic reverence and celebration of old Grindhouse style films that many found them to be the most entertaining thing in the entire presentation. Robert Rodriguez's trailer for the fictional Machete was among fan favorites, and it wasn't long after the release of Grindhouse that it was announced that Machete was going to be made for real. If people actually loved the trailer that much - why not actually make it happen? So that is exactly what Robert Rodriguez set out to do.

Grim-faced Machete is a man with a bloody history - a renegade Mexican Federale who lost out in a vicious battle against a drug lord and is now resigned to being a common day laborer. Desperate for cash and seemingly an easy target, Machete becomes entangled in a political assassination attempt and is pegged a patsy for the attempted murder of the popular Texas governor. Now on the run from the law, as well as the bad guys who had hired and framed him, Machete is forced to turn, fight, and carve out the hearts of those who would do him wrong.

Machete is packed with the same style of blood, boobs, and explosions that flavored the original Grindhouse trailer, and the film does a good job of remaining loyal to its source. Of course, many of the actors have changed - the original trailer did not include Lindsay Lohan, Steven Seagal, or others - but all of the major beats shown in the trailer are present. Some segments almost look like Rodriguez might have reused some of the trailer footage to make the film, which is really a strange case of reversing the process of film making.

It was this reversal that might have caused some of these beats fall a little flat. Creating a fake trailer was obviously a fun and funny thing to do - but it effectively puts chains on Rodriguez when he went out to actually make the film. The film would have to have the same scenes as the trailer, and this puts a cramp in the creative process. This is exactly why trailers are made after the movie. You can almost feel Machete skip a step when it has to hit one of those key money-shot moments that had been highlighted in the fake trailer. Some of the moments feel forced, out of place, and a just little gimped.

A great example is one of the most insane over-the-top moments in the original trailer - the moment when Machete straps a heavy machine gun to the handlebars of a motorcycle, rides it up a ramp, and jumps with an fiery explosion behind him while spraying bullets down into a bunch of bad guys. This was an awesome moment in the trailer. In the movie, it feels like an unnecessary punctuation mark stuck on with bubblegum. There is no build up to this moment, nor even any specific reason why Machete might want to do this - he just suddenly, out of nowhere, throws a gun on the bike and goes at it.

This isn't true for all of the action. Probably the best action scenes of the film are those that are new to the film and were not highlighted in the trailer. Machete, as you might have guessed, employs a large broad bladed knife with extreme proficiency, and he is highly skilled at lopping off limbs, heads, and just about anything else that needs chopping. This is demonstrated right in the opening scene when Machete single-handedly chops down an entire house full of bad guy's before finally being taken out by a cheap trick from a naked lady.

All of the action is gory fun stuff. The actors involved have a riot with it, and all are given their own little gimmicks and cool moments. Rodriguez particularly loves artistically framed shots of gun toting individuals moving in extra cool slow motion, and this is something we see a lot; especially if the individual involved is a scantily clad Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, or Lindsay Lohan. But the one little gimmick that I particularly loved was related to Steven Seagal and his katana. I don't know why they did this - it doesn't even make any sense - but for some reason the bionic sound effect from The Six Million Dollar Man chugged forth every time Seagal's katana came into play. I just loved that to death.

One side note on Lindsay Lohan, now that I've dropped her name - no, you do not get to see her boobs. Her involvement in the project did cause some stir with fans early on, as the character she was to play was featured in the fake trailer naked and frolicking in water with lead character Machete and her own mother. This scene is in the film, and the two women are definitely naked, however a body double fakes the place of Lohan. While gawkers are denied a good look at Lohan's goods, there are still other naked women to see in Machete - so really, take what you can get and be happy about it.

While the action of Machete certainly has its payoffs, the moments in between do have a tendency to drag. Again, it feels as if Rodriguez was a little too chained down by his own trailer, and reduced the moments in between the beats as "filler", put there by necessity. These sleepy dialogue sequences sometimes feel canned with forced conversation that seem only to be there to eek out a few more moments before the next action segment.

Worse and arguably more damaging than any other flaw is that Machete steps a very heavy foot into the extremely polarized issue of illegal immigration. Those supporting illegal immigration are romantically idealized as heroes and kind, good-hearted souls, while those wishing to control the borders of the United States are portrayed as completely heartless, racist villains. The "real world" issues surrounding illegal immigration are complex, and I think that most would agree that both sides have legitimate concerns; taking this real world issue and completely condemning one side while celebrating the other is going to alienate a significant number of people that might have otherwise enjoyed this film. Machete spends a lot of energy and time underlining what it thinks of illegal immigration, and I think the film would have greatly improved itself if it had avoided rolling around in the pollution of real world politics to the extent that it did.

If you enjoyed the fake trailer for Machete, chances are you will also enjoy the film. While it does have its slow moments and sticks its finger far too deep in the waxy ear of illegal immigration, it also carries a lot of bloody and creative action, fun-filled grindhouse cheese, and other general goodness that manages to tip the scales to the positive. Often trailers can be deceiving about the film they are pushing, but not so with Machete; the trailer literally made the movie.

This is a Day Two Review.

Rating: (3.5 out of 5):