OK, I admit it; I absolutely, positively love barbarian movies.
The drama, the action, the ultimate conflict of good vs. evil; and, of course, lots of muscled, sweaty dudes. With long, flowing hair. And loincloths. Oh, yeah. Can’t forget those ever-lovin’ loincloths...
Even so, I ordinarily wouldn’t recommend a typical barbarian movie as a chick flick, per se; simply because I couldn’t imagine ringing up all my best galpals and proposing an evening of Haagen Dazs half pints and a Deathstalker marathon (um, yeah). Yet one "sword and pecs" flick I would grant the exalted ‘chick flick’ label is Kull the Conqueror, starring "Hercules" himself, Kevin Sorbo.
As a huge Hercules fan, I greatly looked forward to the release of this action epic, based on a story by "Conan" creator Robert E. Howard. The film not only met but exceeded my expectations, and in a number of ways.
The first lies in the basic decency of the Kull character, as displayed through Sorbo’s strong performance. A barbarian who becomes king, Kull has both strength and power at his fingertips; yet he abuses neither, using his power justly over the beautiful kingdom of Valusia, and never victimizing the weak or innocent. He frees all slaves in his newly won kingdom, including an all-knowing fortune teller named Zareta (portrayed by Karina Lombard of Legends of the Sea and Wide Saragasso Sea fame—the latter of which is some great Jane Eyre-inspired soft-core porn, look it up!), who is perhaps the strongest, wisest heroine in the history of barbarian films.
Strong in mind and spirit, Zareta refuses to just fall in to Kull’s bed (will power, thy name is Zareta!), even after he frees her from her bonds of enslavement. He has to earn her trust and just maybe (do I really need to insert "spoiler alert" here?) her love.
First, though, Kull just has to go and explore his biggest weakness: a reincarnated witch-queen that Kull’s jealous rival has sent to usurp his power.
As portrayed by Tia Carrere, Queen Akivasha is beautiful in her fury and ruthlessness; disguising her self as the perfect bride, she ultimately represents a force of evil that challenges Kull’s throne, his kingdom, and his life.
As barbarian movies go, Kull the Conqueror is a hidden gem undiscovered by many audiences, particularly of the female persuasion. You get strong female characters, a compelling plotline, beautiful scenery, and (oh yeah) Kevin Sorbo. Break out the Haagen Dazs and the loin cloths ladies, we have a winner!
Ugh!!
This movie stabs deeply at my R.E. Howard-loving heart. It's cheap, generic Hollywood nonsense like this that allows people to undervalue Howard's talents as one of the great American writers of the last century.
If people can find enjoyment in it then more power to them. Just don't think that this represents Robert E. Howard's original character of 'Kull of Atlantis' or the depth and scope of his writing.
Anyway, despite the aggressive manliness of his output R.E. Howard also created some amazing female heroes like 'Red Sonya of Rogatino' (not to be confused with 'Red Sonja', the chainmail bikini-wearing cheesecake that Marvel invented) and a personal favourite of mine, 'Dark Agnes'.
Sorry for my fanboy rant. If you talking up this movie leads to people checking out Howard's original work than any publicity is good publicity. :bigsmile: