"No good deed ever goes unpunished. 285th Rule of Acquisition "


Hey Ladies, want a raise? Wash your vagina!

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Superheidi's picture
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if you think this is one of the most outrageous and insulting advertisements you've ever seen, feel free to tell the people at Woman's Day Magazine (womansday@hfmus.com), who ran this print ad. You can also call them at (212) 767-6000.

And don't forget the Summer's Eve people. Their toll-free number is 866-787-6383, and the website is http://summerseve.com/.

How DOES a woman ask for a raise??? or rather, what should she remember to do?

1) wash your vagina. That is the most important part of getting a raise. No one hires a woman when they can smell her vagina. The smell of a woman's vagina, as we all know, is repugnant to straight males and gay females. Your vagina is disgusting; YOU are disgusting, and you should always be ahsamed of the way your vagina looks, smells, feels, and acts, forever.

Even though you are concerned with your boss smelling your vagina, don't let the meeting get 'too personal'. That is, you're a woman, so you talk too much and are scatterbrained. Try to act more like the men around you and hate the way you speak. Berate yourself for it later when you are in your kitchen.

But last, and least important, is talking about the job you actually do at the company and why you actually may deserve a raise. You're a woman, so you probably don't do any actual real valuable work. But if you do, make sure to mention it. It will be a novelty to your boss who is used to seeing only women who are worthless leeches on the company's hard working male population.

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Tristan Sinns's picture
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You know, before I have any important and potentially life changing conversation with my boss, I always make sure to step into the men's room and wash my dick in the sink.

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Private J.V. Vasquez's picture
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This reminds me of those stupid ads back in the 50's and this is 2010!

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Chris McMillan's picture
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*jaw hanging open in disbelief*

Jeez, I almost expected #9 to be "Offer a Blow Job." That way, you can sexually satisfy your boss to the point where he can't refuse you a raise, and avoid having a stinky vagina ruining the deal.

God, that's just awful. I can't believe anyone could even conceive of such an ad, let alone a magazine called "Woman's Day" publishing it.

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Cash Bailey's picture
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That's just astonishing.

Who would have thought that the hygene of one's hoo-hah was the number one key to advancing in your career.

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I guess vagina's are all the rage these days. I probably would have been more shocked by this prior to last night. I was watching Being Human on BBC and afterwrads a show came on called Perfect Private Parts. Apparently in the UK, not sure about the good 'ole US of A, breats are no longer the biggest thing in cosmetic surgery. No, now it seems the vagina is the #1 thing women want to fix. It was the most bizarre thing I have ever seen. women talking about length and whatnot. So size does matter to women after all. They even showed women lying on the table, with nothing but local anesthetic, getting them trimmed, tucked and sometimes cut off. It takes 3 months for the vagina to heal. I've gotta say that whiloe I'm no stranger to vagina's, relatively speaking I'm by no means an expert. I really wouldn't know how to judge one. I haven't seen a particularly ugly one and I'm not sure if I've seen the perfect one. I guess I have yet to meet a vagina I didn't like.

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Superheidi's picture
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RAN, I saw that special!!!!

What perplexes me is exactly what perplexes you - I mean, I don't think I'd know an ugly vagina if I saw one. Sure, some look different than others. So do peni. I mean, I have seen different lengths and widths of peni, but unless a man has had his mangled in a motorcycle accident, it is likley to be appealing because its a sex organ.

The same applies to vaginas, I always thought. I don't think any man or gay woman is disgusted by a woman's vagina simply because she has longer lips than the next girl, or a smaller clit that another. I don't understand why they think their vaginas are ugly. Unless it gets burned in a fire or something, isn't a vagina usually awesome the way it is to those who prefer vaginas?

I think when these fads appear, it is a manifestation of something larger going on with women as a whole in society. They are unsatisfied with something in their lives, and channel it into fixing physical imperfections that may not necessarily be unattractive - just physical differences that make their breasts, noses, faces, or vaginas different from the person next to them. People, women especially, are holding themselves up to some fantasty standard that doesn't exist.

What I don't know is where this 'standard' is coming from. Uusally we blame the fashion (aka 'womens bodies') business for most of this stuff, but where is the vaginal hatred coming from? Is it from seeing one standard type of vagina in pornography? Possibly. But then how come men don't feel the same way about their penises not measuring up? Or DO they?

I'd like to see some actual numbers about how many men actually have penis enhancement surgery and how many women have their vaginas snipped up.

In any case, as I said to my sister when she was contemplating having her hair line lowered surgically (you heard me), I hate having a crooked, high hairline, but I hate it less than having surgery. Same goes for my vagina.

I reserve the right to go crazy and take all of this back at some future point.

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Haha, peni. I can't speak to what men think of their penises because I have never had a discussion with a guy about it and wouldn't want to. Honestly I think when I was younger I suppose I wondered on occasion if I was being compared to other guys during and just after sex but I never got any complaints and women have always been pretty sexually attracted to me so I never worried about it.

The women in that show seemed to get into pretty intense discussions about it with eachother. Like that one girl whos sister would always tell her dates about what an ugly one she had and then they'd dump her the next day. They seemed to be comparing themselves to the centerfolds and wanting to look like them. Porn is a huge industry and there's a lot of people that get into it so I can see why some women would feel pressured by that but personally it's just not something I look for in a woman. Call me crazy but I like the fact that every woman is different.

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asharceneaux's picture
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Vaginas aren't supposed to be pretty. I blame the whole surgery affair on the glut of pornography available. Insecure woman believe that in order for a man to want them they need a tight, tiny-lipped, hairless crotch that looks like it should be on the internet. My ex-husband always talked about how different women's va-jay-jays are, and I never understood why one was more attractive than the other, until I realized he and his friends only liked the ones that looked like, well, their favorites porn star's. (I wasn't married to him for very long, for blatant reasons LOL).

As for this ad---WOW. Holy cow. This is completely unbelievable that a MODERN magazine, even though it's named 'Woman's Day' and focuses on women pleasing their men with well-decorated houses and gourmet meals, would run something so offensive and degrading.

Julie Kerr's picture
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Vagina plastic surgery is unnecessary. It's too bad women feel the need to do that. Haven't they ever seen the Vagina Monologues?

Porn is not my cup of tea. The women in porn don't really do it for me, much less their porn-vaginas. I don't think women should compare themselves to porn women or porn women shouldn't be the standard (no offense to porn women). I honestly think that people who are attracted to women have much more diverse tastes than what porn would have you to believe.

Anyhoo, vaginas are beautiful.

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Superheidi's picture
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And let me add - the penis, too, is beautiful. Let's not ignore the penis, either.

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Haha, I've never considered my penis to be beautiful any more than I do Clint Eastwood.

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Now, see, I consider eastwood very beautiful.

Esp circa 1968.

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I see him as more the unassuming, ultimate badass type.

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i wonder why we have such different ways of looking at him? Wink

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Thomwade's picture
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I don't know...if you can smell someone's genitalia (female OR male) across a desk in the office? They might wanna just get checked out. I just find it odd that the article presumes this to be a common problem. Smile

Superheidi's picture
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Truly - if your genitalia has such a strong, and offensive odor, you probably have an infection. A Feminine Cleansing Product is not going to clear that up - see a doctor.

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asharceneaux's picture
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I'm sorry, Wolves, but a woman's vagina is so smelly you can actually smell it from afar...well, you're probably the only male who finds that attractive. I understand the scent of an aroused woman, sex smells, etc, but not dirty unwashed vagina.

*shudder*

I agree 100% with cleanliness for cleanliness's sake--not just because a man demands it.

Tristan Sinns's picture
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asharceneaux wrote:

I'm sorry, Wolves, but a woman's vagina is so smelly you can actually smell it from afar...well, you're probably the only male who finds that attractive. I understand the scent of an aroused woman, sex smells, etc, but not dirty unwashed vagina.

*shudder*

I got to agree. Perfume wasn't invented for nothing, you know. An unwashed body (and unwashed genitals) can get pretty damned offensive.

Good hygiene is important to me. Laughing out loud

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Cash Bailey's picture
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I really like vaginas. I've had mostly positive experiences with them over the years.

Less than five of them have been beyond delectation. And two of those had those fucking awful piercings.

Please stop piercing your hoo-hahs, ladies. Its not the least bit fun to have chunks of metal bouncing off your teeth.

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Cash Bailey wrote:

Please stop piercing your hoo-hahs, ladies. Its not the least bit fun to have chunks of metal bouncing off your teeth.

Oh geez, seconded! And none of those tacky horrid nipple piercings either. I despise that crap.

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Tristan Sinns wrote:
Cash Bailey wrote:

Please stop piercing your hoo-hahs, ladies. Its not the least bit fun to have chunks of metal bouncing off your teeth.

Oh geez, seconded! And none of those tacky horrid nipple piercings either. I despise that crap.

Yeah, son!! *high five*

And stop those tramp stamps, too. The lower back is one of the most beautifully erotic parts of a woman's body.

Why would you want to deface it with that crap? I can't fathom it.

Julie Kerr's picture
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You're right Heidi, penises and vaginas are equally beautiful. I am secure enough in my homo-ness to say that.

For the sake of being inclusive and on behalf of all my brothers and sisters out there attracted to men, penises are indeed beautiful.

However, in case anyone is keeping a record, put "likes vaginas" next to my name.

Penises=beauty & vaginas=beauty.

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Superheidi's picture
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Hey, I got tramp stamp back in 1996 when I was a tramp! No way around it now. Might I add, though, back in the gay '90's it was a 'new' thing, and I was but a wee lass of 17.

My back and my liver pay dearly for those 1996 magical moments of youthful indiscretion.

I like vaginas as an abstract concept, but i don't want one in my face. I think it is because I am straight.

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Superheidi wrote:

Hey, I got tramp stamp back in 1996 when I was a tramp! No way around it now. Might I add, though, back in the gay '90's it was a 'new' thing, and I was but a wee lass of 17.

And at least yours has an artistic and attractive aesthetic to it, rather than something blatant and tacky.

I remember seeing some hippy chick years ago that had a Pabst Blue Ribbon logo as her tramp stamp. It looked like a doily to put one's beer on. I have to think she came to regret that particular tattoo.

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Private J.V. Vasquez's picture
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That's funny you mentioned Vagina Monologues yours truly was in it and I read "The Angry Vagina" I was the best one and I got a standing ovation. Anyways, but I hate it when a guy is like you should shave all the way my stupid dumbass ex was like that all the time. Too much porn again probably why it didn't last and other reasons. I would be like "Okay see if you get laid tonight or get a blow job" "I keep trimmed it to the best of my ability and I shower everyday" Which is more than I can say for him because god did he stink sometimes.

I don't mind porn I don't care if my guy watches it, hell I even watch it sometimes the more women friendly kind but don't expect my snatch to look like hers.

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Superheidi's picture
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I totally don't mind porn either. I only really like the kind where the sex is healthy and normal and the women seem to be enjoying it.

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Julie Kerr's picture
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Films with people having sex; I have no issue with.

Films that encourage people to treat other people like shit; bother me.

Sometimes mainstream porn can be a little...mean. Sex is awesome. Meanness is bad. I understand there is also fetishes which is cool. I think more positive porn sounds good.

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Private J.V. Vasquez's picture
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Yes I agree, I'm all about positive porn and I can understand fetishes, but porn that shows women not enjoying it and treating them with no regard but absolute shit I do not care for. As a matter of fact, there was even a both at Texas Frightmare Weekend in 07' that was selling "Rape" porn although it was fake I hope so at least. Angela Bettis mentioned it in the "Women in horror" panel and I was surprised at all get out that they allowed that type of shit as vendor at horror convention I'm sure he had it discreetly with his horror stash. I hope that guy never got invited back.

http://www.texasfrightmareweekend.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=521

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Porn vaginas? What, there's actually something anatomically different among porn actresses?

God, I must be getting old. All my textbooks pretty much say otherwise.

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Private J.V. Vasquez's picture
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lmao I'm talking about being shaved all the time as opposed to being trimmed.

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I realllly hate the way rape is confused with 'sex' in genre and exploitation films - as if men don't notice a difference between sex and rape, that they enjoy it equally the same, which is bullshit.

Most of the stuff they were talking about in thread falls into that category. And rape isn't sexy - or, at least, it shouldn't be. If anyone finds themselves mostly turned on by rape scenes, they should seriously sit down and examine why, because they are not sexually healthy.

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I'm allergic to metal. Can't even wear blue jeans unless the rivets are painted with clear fingernail polish or something, so that totally dashed my dreams of a clitoral hood piercing. LOL

I'm so freaked out by penis piercings. I can't help but think of bacteria and just plain ouch-ness of it all.

And, you boys are all crazy. In a good way. I laughed at your posts.

Vaginas are beautiful as an abstract, I agree. I don't really want to look at them very often though.

Superheidi's picture
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Dude, I have that same allergy. It is an allergy to tin and nickel, which are found in most buttons, rivets, zippers, and non-gold or silver jewelry. I can only have surgical steel, gold, or silver touch me. If I wear any other metal close to my skin for 24 hours I get a rash. My ears swell up too, if I have any of those metals in them.!!!!

Copper and Bronze I think are okay, but noone makes anything that touches your skin with copper and bronze.

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Superheidi wrote:

I like vaginas as an abstract concept, but i don't want one in my face. I think it is because I am straight.

No..no...that can't be it...it must be something else. Wink

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Maybe I'm gay but just allergic to vaginas.

I'm actually only allergic to one other thing - pennicillin. I could die if I take it. In case anyone wants to murder me, there's your method!

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Well, if I ever decide to don a weird but iconic type mask and become a slasher movie killer? I will remember that. Thanks for the hint. Wink

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I watched the movie "Black Widow" with Debra Winger she plays the detective well the Black Widow character that's how she kills one of her victim because he is allergic to penicillin. She found out about it and put some of that shit in his ointment and bam dead lol

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Superheidi's picture
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I LOVE Black Widow! I own that on VHS.

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My ex and fiancee both shave every now and then, not because I tell them to but because they both watch sex in the city. I enjoy both personally.

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asharceneaux's picture
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Can't deal with shaving, either myself or whoever I'm with. Too prickly and too high-maintenance. Give me neatly groomed any day and I'll be happy.

I can't wear ANY metal for more than a few minutes. I swell up and blister and the skin around it turns purple and green.

Cash Bailey's picture
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Looks like this woman could do well to heed this ad's advice...

http://tinyurl.com/322f7cc

Private J.V. Vasquez's picture
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Oh my god I don't mean to laugh, but seriously like there should of been a big light-blub that this woman wasn't taking medication.

Quote:

Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a West Virginia motor inn.

The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing/gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted here.

According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

Williams, who was released from jail after posting $3000 bond, is next due in Jackson County Magistrate Court on February 16.

Don't you find it a little bit strange a woman comes to your house acting kind of crazy and starts taking off her clothes? Plus you could of been a little bit nicer about saying her vagina stinks! That pisses any woman off already crazy or not!

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“Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

That may be the greatest line ever uttered by a human being.

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Moonbutterfly7 wrote:

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

Oh my god. I'm dying.

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Just when you think people can't get any weirder, someone's able to prove you wrong.

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Superheidi's picture
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I've been laughing for two days straight because of this.,.

My god, a horrible vaginal odor THAT BAD means she needs to go get some vagisil or see her doctor- it isn't supposed to smell THAT BAD, even if you didn't shower for two days. I mean, the smell shouldn't be noticeable if it isn't right in your face. From a few feet away? You've got a yeast infection, my dear!

Note to self: shower before pulling knife on men and demanding oral sex upon penalty of a slit throat.

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