The Cougar's Trap

Sam Taylor-Wood is a Bafta- and Palme d'Or-nominated director, producer and writer who has enjoyed more than a decade's long career in independent film, most recently directing the brilliant short James Bond Supports International Women's Day; in which Daniel Craig and Judi Dench made a powerful statement on behalf of women's equality.

Ironically enough, the director who spoke out so forcefully on the subject of gender issues is herself being targeted in an Internet hate campaign that reeks of sexism.

Wood, it seems, is expecting her second child with gorgeous actor Aaron Johnson (recently seen in Kick-ass); but if you read any article about the couple and their growing family (such as the one found here)", you see few notes of congratulation in the comments section beneath it. Instead you see exclamations of "Eeeeuw!" "Yuck!" and "Disgusting!" Why? For no other reason than the fact that Wood is 44, and Johnson is 21.

This is about the same difference in years which separates Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones; and far less of an age gap than that which exists between Hugh Hefner and any of his many girlfriends. So why don't they get attacked with constant chants of "Eeeeuw!" and "Yuck!"?

The answer is simple; society still has a royally effed up view of the younger man/older woman relationship. When Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher, eyebrows hit the ceiling and jaws hit the floor; when her ex-husband Bruce Willis hooked up with Brooke Burke, a woman more than 20 years his junior, nary a word was said.

And this stereotype extends far beyond the borders of Hollywood. I date younger men myself, and have been on the receiving end of some surprised, concerned and sometimes callous comments from friends on this matter; the same friends who have tried (unsuccessfully) to fix me up with guys more than 10 years my senior.

In this supposed age of the 'Cougar', the empowered older woman who makes her own money and decisions, and who enjoys relationships with handsome younger gents, people are still very slow to accept older woman/younger man relationships. In addition, superstars like Michelle Pfeiffer have come out strongly against the "Cougar" label; indeed, in a Good Morning America interview to promote her beautiful film Cheri (a period drama in which her character romanced an absolutely beautiful man more than 20 years her junior), Pfeiffer said that the term "Cougar" is actually a sexist connotation indicating a predatory female who whips out her talons to ensnare an innocent young victim.

With this in mind, I will not congratulate Sam Taylor-Wood for being a 'cougar'. I instead will congratulate her for being a gifted, talented woman who has found love and success in an era where both are hard to attain. I wish nothing but happiness for her and Aaron Johnson.