He's got that TV show no one I know watches, The River, which is found footage and vaguely mysterious horror, plus he's got this new film Chernobyl Diaries, also found footage and horror-y, which are both just like his found footage horror film Paranormal Activity. This guy's realllly milking that lucky strike, isn't he? I'm probably going to run into him at some backyard BBQ or Screamfest screening someday soon and he'll be standing there with Max Landis, and once they hear my name, they'll scoff and say, "Oh, that bitch? She didn't say very nice things about us like everyone else did!" and I won't get invited to the afterparty.
But to do otherwise would be to lie to you, my readers. Besides, I don't like parties much anymore as they are only fun when you are an alcoholic.
Oren Peli co-wrote Chernobyl Diaries, with Shane Van Dyke and Carey Van Dyke, which is the one reason I think this *could* be great. Shane Van Dyke is an alumnus of The Asylum, where he penned and starred in such amazing Oren Peli rip-offs as Paranormal Entity. I guess the two met at some backyard horror barbecue in LA and hit it off; I like that. It shows that Peli has a sense of humor. But if Peli only co-wrote, with two other dudes who have a great reputation for wit and wry humor (The Asylum! Come on), and "produced," why is he getting top billing all over the film? It's actually directed by Brad Parker, who sounds nice enough. And honestly, I question how much "producing" Peli really did on this. I'm suspicious that it's just some marketing ploy, like "Quentin Tarantino Presents This Piece of Shit."
I like the idea of exploiting a terrible tragedy such as the horrible Chernobyl nuclear explosion and devastation for a trashy horror film. I really do. I can get behind that. No, it's not "too soon" and it's in Russia, and no one in the USA gives a shit about Russia, so this is a good idea for a horror film: mutated Russians running around killing and/or maybe eating people? I don't know. But yes, exploitation of tragedy has me every time when it's used for a cheap thrill.
I DO NOT, however, enjoy found footage films anymore. The technique is trite and distracting. After Cloverfield, this technique should have been put away forever, along with stupid horror plotlines about white westerners exploring scary foreign travel destinations where they find out that the rest of the world actually despises Americans (Oh, I don't know, like, Hostel? Touristas?) or even just films about douchey white Americans traveling to foreign places and those places end up being scary because, since 9/11, we're supposedly scared of everything that isn't on our own soil (The Ruins). Okay, we get it. Everything is scary now that our national security has been compromised (Cloverfield). Do we really need another film about this crap, especially a found-footage one? Just sticking to The River wasn't enough found-footage action for Peli? He needed more? I'm kind of in awe of how much this guy loves found-footage. I hope it's not that his agent is only marketing him as the new master of found-footage because those are the only jobs he's ever going to be able to get, which means he will stop having jobs as soon as this trend is fully explored and the (m)asses get sick of it. I'm a (m)ass, and I'm sick of it now. How long before the rest feel the same way?
This is the trailer for Chernobyl Diaries. It starts out with some truly douchebag-looking white people discussing their Xtreme vacation options as tourists. Wouldn't it be cool to go laugh at the deformed, retarded people at Chernobyl? Heck yeah! So they go. Oh No, they'll be PUNISHED for their lack of compassion toward those who have suffered tragedy because they themselves are spoiled Americans who have never known true pain or discomfort? In shaky cam?
It seems that the whole film is not *all* found footage, but rather a combination of found-footage shaky cam, regular "it's just the camera guy" shaky cam and a few steady shots.
It could be really good! Depending on how they present the "monsters," er, excuse me, "horribly deformed human beings in anguish who were subject to unimaginable horrors at the hands of radiation poisoning." I'm assuming. I mean, it could be monsters or aliens or random serial killers attacking tourists, but then why the fuck would it be set in Chernobyl? Just because they needed an excuse for another creepy "doll covered in dirt, hinting at abandonment and hopelessness" shot? No, it's probably yucky Russians with cancer, and as we all know from watching the remake of The Hills Have Eyes, cancer gives you super-strength.
In my opinion, this movie will be the best movie of the decade if they make sure to include a scene at the end where all of the Americans come home, think everything's normal and then find out they all have breast and testicular cancer from hanging out in Chernobyl. Dude, then they'd be the monsters, right?
Are there no interesting-looking young actors with personalities in Los Angeles? Or is there just a blanket casting call for the most bland, generically pretty people possible to be cast in horror movies?
I like to think that people like this are hatched in vile underground nests, like the Uruk-Hai in LORD OF THE RINGS. And some casting agent is overseeing the process going: "I shall name you... Chaz Douchington! Now get thee to a straight-to-video WRONG TURN sequel!!"
All you need to be popular in the LA horror industry scene is to be generically pretty, and never ever deviate from the mainstream norm in any way. You can be the jock, the jerk, the hottie, or the slut, but you must do it within preset parameters or you will be unpopular.
Since only popular people can be in the film industry today, I think they just assume that this is what people are like because it's all they see. Excuse me, all they want to see.
__________________
"Another great thing about being 70,000 light years away from the nearest Starfleet vessel is that once we finally get back to Earth, we can makeup bullshit stories. Off the top of my head: 'We met Amelia Earhart,' 'We singlehandedly eliminated most of the Borg fleet' or 'Paris and I turned into giant pink lizards and mated.'"
You know why Peli is still churning out found footage flicks: because it's what he became popular for. As we know, in Hollywood, the powers that be put you in a box. Peli is in the found footage box. He'll never escape until he's able to make his investors a lot of money with another box. He's gonna keep using this box until it falls apart, like all boxes do.
__________________
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it's not open.
You know why Peli is still churning out found footage flicks: because it's what he became popular for. As we know, in Hollywood, the powers that be put you in a box. Peli is in the found footage box. He'll never escape until he's able to make his investors a lot of money with another box. He's gonna keep using this box until it falls apart, like all boxes do.
He's certainly making hay while the sun shines. You can't fault him for that. I'm sure he's raking in the dough.
But it's true that he has to move on and find another level to his talent. Hasn't he been directing a movie for, like, two years or something?
You know why Peli is still churning out found footage flicks: because it's what he became popular for. As we know, in Hollywood, the powers that be put you in a box. Peli is in the found footage box. He'll never escape until he's able to make his investors a lot of money with another box. He's gonna keep using this box until it falls apart, like all boxes do.
He's certainly making hay while the sun shines. You can't fault him for that. I'm sure he's raking in the dough.
Hey, he's playing the game the way it's supposed to be played. Hopefully, he'll be ready for a new game by the time people have tired of this one.
__________________
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it's not open.
Chernobyl Diaries is actually his first non-found footage film...
It's a mix of found-footage, small amount in the beginning and at their exploration of the place, and regular shaky cam, I'm pretty sure.
__________________
"Another great thing about being 70,000 light years away from the nearest Starfleet vessel is that once we finally get back to Earth, we can makeup bullshit stories. Off the top of my head: 'We met Amelia Earhart,' 'We singlehandedly eliminated most of the Borg fleet' or 'Paris and I turned into giant pink lizards and mated.'"
I miss being excited about new movies. Especially new horror movies. It feels like it's been a long time. Every time some shaky cam/found footage/faux doc/ whatever is announced I just throw my hands up in disgust. God forbid we get a little imagination or soul or art mixed up in our profits.
Actually gotta say I like the tastelessness factor here that Peli seems to blithely override. "Sure people in the Chernobyl area are still suffering - but if we make the "American" characters douchey enough, it's kind of like we're saying, 'that's ok'."
Actually gotta say I like the tastelessness factor here that Peli seems to blithely override. "Sure people in the Chernobyl area are still suffering - but if we make the "American" characters douchey enough, it's kind of like we're saying, 'that's ok'."
I agree. I like it in a perverse way I'm not proud of. But I like it a lot.
__________________
"Another great thing about being 70,000 light years away from the nearest Starfleet vessel is that once we finally get back to Earth, we can makeup bullshit stories. Off the top of my head: 'We met Amelia Earhart,' 'We singlehandedly eliminated most of the Borg fleet' or 'Paris and I turned into giant pink lizards and mated.'"
Look, I know Oren Peli is really "hot" right now.
I DO NOT, however, enjoy found footage films anymore. The technique is trite and distracting. After Cloverfield, this technique should have been put away forever, along with stupid horror plotlines about white westerners exploring scary foreign travel destinations where they find out that the rest of the world actually despises Americans (Oh, I don't know, like, Hostel? Touristas?) or even just films about douchey white Americans traveling to foreign places and those places end up being scary because, since 9/11, we're supposedly scared of everything that isn't on our own soil (The Ruins). Okay, we get it. Everything is scary now that our national security has been compromised (Cloverfield). Do we really need another film about this crap, especially a found-footage one? Just sticking to The River wasn't enough found-footage action for Peli? He needed more? I'm kind of in awe of how much this guy loves found-footage. I hope it's not that his agent is only marketing him as the new master of found-footage because those are the only jobs he's ever going to be able to get, which means he will stop having jobs as soon as this trend is fully explored and the (m)asses get sick of it. I'm a (m)ass, and I'm sick of it now. How long before the rest feel the same way?
Are there no interesting-looking young actors with personalities in Los Angeles? Or is there just a blanket casting call for the most bland, generically pretty people possible to be cast in horror movies?
I like to think that people like this are hatched in vile underground nests, like the Uruk-Hai in LORD OF THE RINGS. And some casting agent is overseeing the process going: "I shall name you... Chaz Douchington! Now get thee to a straight-to-video WRONG TURN sequel!!"