'Bayonetta' - Soft-Core Demon Slaying Adventure

By Minerva Li

Hideki Kamiya, the guy responsible for creating my very first crush, Dante, from their series Devil May Cry, has recently come out with a much acclaimed new title called Bayonetta available on PS3 & X-Box 360. Now, I loved Devil May Cry, but this new title leaves me with some seriously mixed feelings.

Now, I love hot video game characters. I’m not one of those girls who gets upset that female game characters don’t always portray the most realistic image about us with their beach ball sized breasts and size 000 bodies. But there’s so much about Bayonetta that just doesn’t sit well with me...

For one, the unnecessary amount of crotch shot close ups. I know that this is aimed at getting the guys attention, but do we really need a close-up every time this woman spreads her legs? And not to mention that her body suit is so tight that you can pretty much imagine how painful the camel toe must be. Every time I see it all I can think is "Oh my God, she must get the -worst- yeast infections." And then to top it all off, her clothes are actually made of her magical hair. That’s right, it’s all her super long hair wrapped around her body to form the cat suit. That must be comfortable. Oh, and when she uses her magic, her clothes come off (but it’s not as sexy as you’d hope for.)

I love the world that was developed for this game. Oh god, it looks beautiful. Cut scenes aren’t generally epic, but they’re still generally awesome nonetheless. The weird "lips stop moving to appear like a comic book motif at random" thing does irk me. I mean seriously, her hair is fluttering but her face is static. If this was the pattern throughout the while game I would have been able to accept it; but it’s not. Instead it’s a random pattern of live action cut scenes mixed with these semi-awkward comic book moments. It’s just not smooth enough for me. Still, everything else is lovely as far as the world itself goes. A bit confusing at first, if you’re not paying close attention, but still well worth the effort. It’s very reminiscent of the Devil May Cry landscape. You can easily tell it was made by the same guys.

One thing that really upset me however is the music. Oh, for the love of fuck. It’s jazz music. Completely inappropriate and jarring. While Devil May Cry didn’t win 'soundtrack of the decade', it had a really great metal sound that went hand-in-hand with the whole "killing demons and traversing through hell like a bad ass" theme. Bayonetta’s battle soundtrack makes me want to kill cute things. And I like cute things. The music that plays during her battles just sucks. Is this their way of feminizing the character and game to try and make it more girl friendly? I hope not, because my boobs are offended. I’d play the game with mute on, but then I’d miss dialogue and her gun supplying counterpart Rodin has a sexy voice so I just can’t bring myself to do that.

The monsters are awesome. Design-wise they’re fantastic and disturbing at the same time. Of course that could just be because I’m terrified of those doll-like faces they like to randomly attach to the creatures, but regardless, I do like that it’s not just the standard ogre or robot end boss at each level. Oh, and your regular encounter baddies? You’re killing and maiming angels. Mmmmm... blasphemy.

The fighting system is pretty similar to the Devil May Cry style too, and I find it a very successful method. You can learn interesting combos and summoning spells if you take a little bit of time to learn the moves or you can just gleefully button mash your way through the game (if you’re so inclined.) Both ways provide for some pretty cool moves.

I'd give the game a pretty good rating. The playability, world development and game itself is pretty cool, and once you get past the initial cheesiness of her random runway-posing you might actually find it easier to overlook the other stuff in order to focus on the story and graphic wonder. The complex storyline and great game play definitely makes up for it’s initial silliness. Maybe if you took Bayonetta out of the game I’d have enjoyed it a bit more. I wouldn’t say it’s my game of the year, but I’d say it’s worth checking out.