Directed by: Tim Sullivan
Written by: Tim Sullivan, Chris Kobin, Christopher Tuffin
Cast: Bill Moseley, Lin Shaye, Christa Campbell, Andrea Leon, Nivek Ogre
If you think the worst horror film of 2010 was the remake/reboot/raping of Nightmare on Elm Street, you obviously haven't seen 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams, the sequel to 2005's remake of the H. G. Lewis drive-in classic. I'd suggest you leave it that way, as returning director Tim Sullivan unleashes the cinematic equivalent of a night of excessive drinking. By the time the credits roll, you'll feel nauseated and find yourself a few billion brain cells lighter.
The movie starts as the ghosts of Pleasant Valley rematerializing for the anniversary of their death at the hands of rogue Yankee soldiers. But they discover the supply of Northerners to kill and consume has dried up, as the local sheriff has pulled the detour signs that drive tourists their way. It appears the Feds are beginning to ask too many questions about all the missing people and the sheriff is backing out of their arrangement. Well, the ghosts are still short of the 2001 Northerners need to balance the scales and bring them eternal rest, so Mayor Buckman (Bill Moseley) packs a few of the more vicious citizens on a bus and takes the "Guts and Glory Jamboree" on a road trip up north to more fertile hunting grounds.
It appears none of the screenwriters remembered the plot of the previous films. Like the town of Brigadoon (which Lewis based the story on), Pleasant Valley only appears for one day, on the anniversary of the Yankee massacre. No explanation is offered for how the ghost can remain corporeal for a prolonged road trip. If the writing staff didn't forget, they're guilty of assuming the audience is too stupid to remember the rules set up in their previous film.
Of course, we need a group of Northerners for the buffet table and the screenplay supplies an RV load for the slaughter. On their way to south of the Mason/Dixon line is the cast and crew of a reality show featuring two spoiled rich girls interacting with "average" Americans, a la "The Simple Life." Along for the ride are their boyfriends (one whose still in the closet), a Jewish director, a lesbian producer and other stereotypes too painful to mention. But the driver takes a wrong turn and the group ends up with two busted tires in the middle of Iowa, right next to the Guts and Glory Jamboree. I expected Bugs Bunny to pop up at some point and exclaim, "I knew we should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque!"
With no money for repairs and in dire need to produce some footage, the producer decides to use the citizens of Pleasant Valley to fake a Southern setting. Now, I've driven through the more isolated areas in Iowa and there is nothing around but corn. Lots and lots of corn. And where there isn't corn, there are soybeans. Yet where the Jamboree is set up doesn't look anything like Iowa. While this makes the idea of faking a location possible, the utter lack of a massive cornfield is another big problem for the film. The title, an obvious pun on the Costner movie, sets the audience up for a cornfield scene, but the filmmakers again don't seem concerned on cheating the audience.
At this point in the movie, everyone knows what's going to happen, and I really don't feel like getting too much further into the plot. It's just too damn painful a memory. Yep, the film is THAT bad. And this is coming from a fan of really bad, Asylum/Uwe Boll-type flicks. But where a good crappy movie will bring a goofy smile to your face, this one just keeps beating you over the head with bad writing, impossibly stupid characters (even for a reality show cast and crew) and the sense that filmmakers could have done so much better.
Plot holes aside, the film's biggest stumbling block is that not one character is sympathetic in anyway. In this film, the ghosts from Pleasant Valley are just psychopathic killers, not the clever punsters playing off Northern stereotypical expectations from the 2005 film. And the Northerners are so idiotic and unpleasant that you can't wait for them to die. At least the remake gave you characters you cared for, whether ghost or victim.
And what the hell is up with the sudden addition of an Asian woman as a member of the Pleasant Valley citizenry? Sure, she's eventually explained as the laundry lady, but her Dragon Lady getup is more suited to a Fu Manchu villainess than a Chinese laborer. And where did the ghosts get a school bus for their journey North, and how did they learn to drive it? And if they're able to stay corporeal for more than one day, why haven't they reached their goal of 2001 Northerners?
But plot holes and stereotypical characters aren't the problems with this film. The ghosts have also gained a few extra supernatural powers, aside from the ability to stay corporeal for more than 24 hours. For starts, one of the ghosts has super strength and is able to pull a victim's skeletal system out of his torso. And let's not talk about the "Lesbian Face Trap," this film's versions of the remake's "Penis Fly Trap." This device is so overdone and intricate, a practical version would make the creator of the Lament Configuration Box envious. And no, I'm not saying that because I'm male. The buzzsaw bisection death early in the movie will make you cringe and cross your legs, regardless of gender. I hate to say it's the best part of the movie, but it's the only part that got a reaction out of me. It's not worth the price of admission, though, so seek it out on YouTube if you're like nasty gore moments. I'm sure you can find it.
As for the acting, it's much better than the material. The returning cast members (including Lin Shaye, Christa Campbell, Ryan Fleming and Adam Robitel) are fine, but have nothing to do this time. And it's a surprise that Bill Moseley ends up being the weak link in the cast. Not that he's bad, but he lacks the menacing Southern charm that Robert England brought to the role of Mayor Buckman.
This was a difficult review for me, as I hate trashing low budget films. If you've got a $35 million budget, yet manage to produce a turkey like the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, you've earned your lumps. But when it comes to an independent film, where the budget wouldn't pay for a day's catering on a Hollywood production, I want to cut them a bit of slack. Yet when I come across something this bad, I just can't kick it in the gonads hard enough.
To be honest, director's Tim Sullivan DVD linear notes might have prompted my venomous reaction to the film. Sullivan writes that his vision for the 2005 remake was "watered down by those fearing that horror and humor make poor bed companions." I assume Sullivan is referring to Eli Roth and his production company, Raw Nerve, which gave the first time director a shot with 2001 Maniacs. Sullivan adds that his "superiors" were "…uncertain of the extent to which, what I call the 'Splatstick' genre, should be embraced." Yeah, what YOU call Splatstick, as well as everyone else since Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson covered the movie screen with blood back in the 80s.
Okay, that line rubbed me raw. But Sullivan doesn't seem to understand what Splatstick entails. The gore is part of the gag, along with a healthy dose of physical humor. It's not a couple of gore set pieces thrown into a mix of juvenile and stereotypical (and very moronic) humor.
So, why submit a review of this awful flick to the readers of FanGirlTastic? Well, first off, the cast includes Scary Stud of the Month couple Adam Robitel and Christopher McDaniel. Both are fine in their roles, but should have been disqualified as nominees for Scary Stud of the Year after appearing in this eyesore. Second, this film will find its way into discount store dollar bins at some point and I feel it's my duty to warn you from picking it up at such a "bargain" 
price. It's not worth the money, let alone the cost to your sanity.
Finally, I believe Tim Sullivan can do better than this, regardless of the budget and shooting schedule. Tim, if you're reading, I humbly suggest you revisit your original film. Then watch your remake and try to get past the idea of your superiors mucking with your original version. Figure out why the remake worked, why your sequel fell flat and come back with a stronger movie next time. I'm pulling for you, sir. You can do better than this.
Rating: (0 out of 5):
