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The Woman in Black (2012)
Directed by: James Watkins
Written by: Jane Goldman, based on the novel by Susan Hill
Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Ciarán Hinds, Janet McTeer, Sophie Stuckey, Liz White
The Woman in Black is a return to period horror for Hammer Studios. It is based on a 1983 novel written by Susan Hill, which was later adapted into a stage play, as well as a successful television movie in 1989. The play is still running at the Fortune Theater in London's West End, but I can't say this current version will enjoy such success. While it has some terrific moments, most occur in the second half of the film, sandwiched between an annoying first half and a misguided ending.
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02/02/12 |
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2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)
Directed by: Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray
Written by: H. Perry Horton
Cast: Carmen Electra, Brooke Hogan, Charlie O'Connell
You never know what you're going to get from those wacky purveyors of schlock known as The Asylum. Wait, let me qualify that. You know you're going get a "bad" movie, but you never know if it's going to be a good "bad" movie (Mega Python vs. Gatoroid) or a bad "bad" movie (Almighty Thor). It could go either way, and I suppose that's part of the thrill.
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01/27/12 |
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Conscience (2011)
Directed by: Claire "Fluff" Llewellyn
Written by: Claire "Fluff" Llewellyn
Cast: Claire "Fluff" Llewellyn, Ron Fitzgerald, Matt Unkena
Conscience, the latest film from writer/director/actor Claire "Fluff" Llewellyn, comes close to being an engaging horror short.
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01/24/12 |
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Underworld: Awakening (2012)
Directed by: Måns Mårlind, Björn Stein
Written by: Len Wiseman, John Hlavin, J. Michael Straczynski, Allison Burnett, Danny McBride, Kevin Grevioux
Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Sandrine Holt, Theo James, Michael Ealy, India Eisley
Human beings have finally gotten wise to the Underworld populations of vampires and lycans, and all-out war is being waged. Squads of soldiers with fully automatic assault rifles and silver-laced bullets make this war such a slaughter that it has come to be called "The Cleansing."
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01/21/12 |
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A Darker Reality (2008)
Directed by: Chris Kazmier
Written by: Sxv'leithan Essex
Cast: Daniel Baldwin, Sunny Doench, James C. Burns, Alisha Seaton
You know, whenever I open my mailbox and find a package of DVDs from Planet Fury, I throw up a little bit in my mouth. "Why?", you might ask. Because I know that, in among the really good flicks, there's going to be a really bad one. Not a "so bad it's good" flickershow. Those, I love. No...I mean really BAD.
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01/17/12 |
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Down the Road (2011)
Directed by: Jason Christopher
Written by: Jason Christopher
Cast: Jen Dance, Chelsey Garner, Chris Ready, Brian Gallagher, Shaun Paul Costello, David J. Bonner, Nikki Bell, Matthew Nadu, Clint Howard
People really love slasher flicks. They never seem to go out of style and probably never will. The reason for this is simple: Slasher movies are stripped-down formula filmmaking, and when they're done right, they're extremely effective. But when they're not done right, well, you know.
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01/17/12 |
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Cold Sweat (2010)
Directed by: Adrian Garcia Bogliano
Written by: Adrian Garcia Bogliano, Ramiro Garcia Bogliano, Hernan Moyano
Starring: Facundo Espinosa, Marina Glezer, Camila Velasco
If there's one thing horror movies could always use more of, it's scary old people.
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01/16/12 |
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Deadly Intent (1989)
Written by: John Goff
Directed by: Nigel Dick
Starring: Lisa Eilbacher, Steve Railsback, Maud Adams, Fred Williamson, Persis Khambatta, Lance Henrikson, David Dukes, Solly Marx, Pamela Guest
Okay, you see a DVD cover (or read about a film on the web) with Maud Adams, Fred Williamson, Persis Khambatta and Lance Henrikson in the cast and you figure it has to be a decent bit of cheese. Well, check your expectations at the door, because Deadly Intent is intent on being a deadly dull cinematic experience.
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01/13/12 |
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The Big Bad (2011)
Directed by: Bryan Enk
Written by: Jessi Gotta
Cast: Jessi Gotta, Jessica Savage, Alan Rowe Kelly, Timothy McCown Reynolds
Movies like The Big Bad frustrate me. It's clear there's talent involved, but in service of what? The filmmakers obviously had some cool ideas, but they've been stitched together in such a way that we're not provided an emotional context, and by the time we are provided one, it's too late.
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01/13/12 |
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The Grey (2012)
Directed by: Joe Carnahan
Written by: Joe Carnahan, Ian McKenzie Jeffers
Cast: Liam Neeson, Dermot Mulroney, Frank Grillo, James Badge Dale, Joe Anderson, Nonso Anozie, Dallas Roberts, Ben Bray
An Alaskan crew of working men is flying back to Anchorage from their worksite when the unthinkable happens — their small aircraft breaks down and crashes into the frozen and blizzard-torn wilderness.
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01/12/12 |
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American Maniacs (2010)
Directed By: C.M. Downs
Written by: Trent Haaga, C.M. Downs
Starring: Ashlynn Yennie
There are few things in life that I hate more than really shitty and lazy movies. But perhaps more aggravating than a really shitty movie is trying to figure out how on earth these really shitty movies get funded and distributed. I don't get it! Did someone give Satan a blow job? Are people working the streets? Why doesn't the world make sense anymore? In case you are wondering, yes American Maniacs is a really shitty film.
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01/10/12 |
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Nympha (2007)
Directed by: Ivan Zuccon
Written by: Ivo Gazzarrini
Cast: Tiffany Shepis, Caroline De Cristofaro, Allan McKenna
Over the years, in my unofficial quest to see every film in the Tiffany Shepis oeuvre, I've followed the reigning Queen of Scream many places and she has shown me many things. But never has she shown me anything quite like Nympha, her 2007 flick with European filmmaker Ivan Zuccon. But, to be fair, nobody has ever really shown me anything quite like Nympha.
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01/10/12 |
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The Divide (2011)
Directed by: Xavier Gens
Written by: Karl Mueller, Eron Sheean
Featuring Michael Biehn, Michael Eklund, Milo Ventimiglia
The Divide has a lot of dualities. Here’s one: Most people will loathe this film. I loved it.
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01/09/12 |
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The Devil Inside (2012)
Directed by: William Brent Bell
Written by: William Brent Bell, Matthew Peterman
Cast: Fernanda Andrade, Simon Quarterman, Evan Helmuth, Ionut Grama, Suzan Crowley, Bonnie Morgan
For decades, The Lost Boys earned the top spot on my "movies that cheated the audiences at the end" list. By rewriting vampire lore in the last 8 minutes, the entire movie was ruined for me, no small feat given my proclivity to suspend disbelief (and yes, I revisited that film and the review is coming soon).
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01/09/12 |
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Wreckage (2010)
Directed by: John Mallory Asher
Written by: David Frigerio
Starring: Aaron Paul, Scoot McNairy, Cameron Richardson
In the more recent years, there has been a shortage of things that surprise me. Pile on some baby rape on top of that ass-to-mouth surgery — why not? Who's surprised anymore these days? Me, rarely. That is, until I read the cast list of Wreckage and discovered Aaron Paul's name in it. Didn't Aaron Paul win an Emmy? Isn't he like...successful? Why is he in a crappy VOD movie? Sometimes, no one has the answer.
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01/06/12 |
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Golden Needles (1974)
Directed by: Robert Clouse
Written by: S. Lee Pogostin, Sylvia Schneble
Cast: Joe Don Baker, Elizabeth Ashley, Ann Sothern, Jim Kelly, Burgess Meredith
When one thinks of martial art film stars, the names that come to mind probably won't include Joe Don Baker. While the beefy American actor could carry an action film (as he did in Walking Tall), his stature and fighting style isn't associated with the techniques we expect in a martial arts movie.
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01/04/12 |
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